Triumphing in Truth: Overcoming PTSD and Addictions

[00:00:00] We're live. There it is. 

What's up? What's up? What's up? Welcome back to another episode of rebuilding life after addiction Um, man, it's good to be here again with um a good friend a good brother in christ a man, uh that Man, he just wrote a book and it's so awesome to see where god has taken this individual from Uh, just the last conversation that we've had, you know, he celebrated a year of sobriety many of you guys May know who he is, but I'm just going to, um, allow my brother from another mother to introduce himself and give him all the praise, all the, uh, all the, uh, applause, whatever you want to call it.

Yeah. Um, yeah. Ace, go ahead and take it away, man. Share a little bit about yourself, bro. For those that don't know. 

And thanks for the intro, Robert. Justin, man. It's so good to see you guys. Um, first off, I just want [00:01:00] to congratulate you first off with, uh, you know, going, going back and, and built with some unfinished business.

Um, the team challenge, man, that's, that's awesome. And Robert, congratulations, bro. Um, with, with what you're doing, um, to help people in their financial futures and just, it's just amazing. Um, yeah, it's good to be here. Uh, my name's Ace. I was on this podcast. I mean, you guys really helped launch, um, Launched the book and just really set me on a path.

So I'm just super grateful. Um, yeah, so I guess a little bit about me. I'm from California, currently living in Boise, Idaho, and I was the respiratory. I was one of the respiratory therapists assigned to the first community spread code patients, the United States. Um, and. That was in February of [00:02:00] 24th. I'm sorry, February 24th, 2020.

There you go. Um, time went on and I found myself into addiction. Uh, various, various substances. Uh, hard drugs, alcohol, marijuana. Um, and just really spinning out of control. On, uh, December 18th of 21, um, I had a failed suicide attempt, um, three days before my brother's wedding, uh, just really in a dark place, um, and that's when the Lord really met me and told me that there was more to life than suffering, so.

I decided that day that I was done suffering. Um, seven months later, I got into sobriety and by the grace of God, I have, um, like a year and also a year and a half, uh, all one day at a time. [00:03:00] So I'm just grateful to be here guys. Thank you so much. 

Yeah, it's so awesome, man. Yeah. Rob and I were talking about you.

I mean, he, he, he shouts you out on the podcast all the time. Um, your testimony, man, your story. And, uh, that, that conversation you, me, Rob and Luis all had together was such a powerful discussion, man. And on, for those that are watching, if you get a chance to go back to the YouTube channel on and check that out, you can definitely catch that full conversation.

And I'll drop the link in the comments as well. Um, But, uh, man, your story, just the stuff that you've walked through, even prior to the experience at the hospital and through COVID and everything that, you know, you went through during that season, man, it's just, it's just, just so powerful, dude. And congrats on the book launch.

Like I, that's no easy feat, man, to get through that, get it written and put out there, man. What an, what an awesome thing. So I want to ask a little bit because I know the journey and the struggle with PTSD, right, and kind of [00:04:00] inspired the book. I mean, not kind of it did that journey that you walked through.

And, uh, I don't know that we went, we went real deep into that part of the story, right? Last time around, I think we talked about some of your backstory before. And so do you mind bringing us in a little bit to kind of how that, you know, when you started to notice that, you know, after your time working in the hospital and, and how, You started to become aware that you were dealing with this PTSD and this trauma, you know, that ultimately inspired you to write the book.

Oh, yeah, absolutely. So, um, yeah, I think after the, uh, the failed suicide attempt, um, It really, it really made me start to be aware of mental health. I had been seeing therapists and counselors prior to that and And kind of self diagnosing that I was suffering through some post traumatic stress with everything I was researching.

And, um, it wasn't until January of 22 that I was diagnosed with post traumatic [00:05:00] stress. And I think, like, one big thing about the diagnosis was that, like, now I have a game plan. Now I can, uh, go into, go into it with All right. Other people have probably had post traumatic stress and, and how did, how did they overcome it or how did they, uh, still live a great life with post traumatic stress?

And so I, I dove, dove in, um, on July 30th, I got sober of 22. And, um, that, that was a really fun day because I was sitting at a bar and I sat next to this, this gentleman who's, who I consider one of my brothers. Um, He, I told him that I was trying to get sober, but I was having a tough time. And he, uh, he had mentioned that he goes to AA meetings.

Now, uh, I'm sitting here like, okay, he goes to AA meetings, cool. And I, and I asked him which ones he goes to. And he said, Tuesdays at 7 PM. I said, Oh, I do too. [00:06:00] And he asked, where do you go? And I said, um, where do you go? He's like, I go to this one in Eagle, Idaho. Um, and he asked me, who do I know? And I said, who do you know?

And so he said, Lance and Lance is my sponsor. So I was like, Oh shoot, man. I got to tell him myself.

I had to tell him myself that day. And, um, you know, that that's, to me, I look back and God just has a sense of humor, um, You know, he, he met me where I was and no, no judgment, but just, just a conversation, you know, just like ones that we have, um, and, and just really checking in. So, um, yeah, from there, a few months went by, I ended up going to save a warrior, which, uh, those who don't, that don't, that aren't familiar with save a warrior, it's a suicide prevention program, uh, for, uh, first responders and veterans and [00:07:00] also active duty.

Military, um, that suffer with PTSD. Uh, so going there, I learned about an ACE score. It's not my score, but I do have a score, uh, which is adverse childhood experiences. And from that, it really, it really opened my eyes to. To seeing like why I act out in certain situations that, uh, I guess normal people don't, and, you know, from there learning about complex PTSD, which is essentially childhood PTSD, um, I started going on this journey of, of self discovery and kind of.

Trying to piece together the puzzle, um, that wasn't headed to me through my family, um, and culturally we don't really talk about trauma, we don't talk about what happened, um, but there were some clear signs that we had some stuff go on in our family, um, now a little, little history, my Grandfather was a, was a World War II prisoner, [00:08:00] was a World War II prisoner of war, um, in the Philippines against the Japanese, and it was, uh, quite, quite gruesome what they did to him, um, and both my parents were in law enforcement, so, um, we escaped the Philippines, uh, because my dad was on a hit list, uh, from the cartel.

So, um, then we get, I get stuck or I get brought to the United States and we're, we're here, right? And so a combination of like immigrant family, uh, trying to figure stuff out, my parents losing their careers, um, being homeless at one point, uh, just all those things moving so many times. Um, it was really, uh, there's a lot of stuff that went on.

Um, but I was not aware of that affected who I was later on. So, um, yeah, after diving in, I think it was about three or four months after that. Um, I had a brother who said he had a vision for, [00:09:00] for me to tell a story. And I said, well, I, I'm not a storyteller. Um, not it. Never written much except for some poems when I was a kid.

Um, and he, he inspired me to write a, uh, We were going, we were doing a Bible study on Ecclesiastes at the time. And, um, he said, well, what about we, we do a, uh, We do a, a topic called stairs. And I said, what's stairs? And he's like, Essentially, let's write some poetry or some short stories, um, about each of the steps, each of the 12 steps.

And so, started working on it, wrote some poems, just had some fun, um, and then a month later, another brother, Tim Masters, he, uh, somebody I went to high school with that's out here, we went to lunch, and, um, he gave me this acronym. of PTSD, which is pray, trust, seek and declare. And my first impression was [00:10:00] like, bro, that's fire.

That's fire to transfer to transform PTSD into that. Um, and he's like, the Lord gave that to me, brother. And so, um, he also suggested writing a book and two months, two months later, um, a brother found one of my testimonies on Facebook and He approached me with the opportunity to write a book. And so, I, with no experience in writing books, um, we just began by jotting down some stories and the things that happened.

Um, we revised the book three times, and At the end, it turned out to be a 12 chapter book that turned into 12 steps to testimony. And so I take the reader, um, through a methodology that we discovered, um, during the process of writing the [00:11:00] book, which is truth transformation. And then testimony, because essentially that truth part is, is kind of debunking our belief systems and getting in line with who we are in the Lord, right?

And understanding that we're not really up against facts or, uh, Things on social media where we're up against belief systems that we grew up with now if we can start to undo undo those things Then we can get into a place of transformation and the whole point of transformation is to realize that the brain is capable to rewire the neuroplasticity and So in the book I discuss different modalities, breath work, um, timeline therapy, um, you know, ways to care for your body.

And also just encouraging the reader that, hey, this stuff is not linear. As you guys know, [00:12:00] recovery is not linear, man. 

Ace, it makes me think of, um, I've been on this kick lately listening to a guy by the name of Myron Golden. Guy is just a phenomenal. Speaker communicator, and, um, just really articulates the text very well.

Um, but I was thinking in my mind as you were sharing your story, how, you know, Myron talks about how, you know, the, the, the, how God is creator. So in essence, we too are. Creative individuals. We're creative beings. We, we, we create things, 

right? And lo and 

behold, though, you went through what you went through and you dealt with the trauma that you dealt with.

It was something that was trying [00:13:00] to hinder you from discovering your creativity. And so I listened to your story and as you speak. And I also see the sovereignty of God needing to bring you through this process. And so I think what I'd like you to speak on, if you may, how have you learned to embrace PTSD and be okay with this diagnosis and still be creative, right?

Because many people give up. And throw the towel in when life is hard and don't get me wrong. I'm pretty sure you've wanted to throw the towel in since you've been sober. Right? But still, it's like, how have you learned to embrace it and put out a book? That's phenomenal. That's creative. Right? And so it, it, it, it, it goes to show you, despite what you're [00:14:00] dealing with, there's still a purpose.

So can you speak to some people that are listening right now that might be going through something similar? Like what, what were some things that you were able to walk through through this journey and writing this book and reliving these stories? 

That's a great question. Great lead in. Um, I think the sobriety, it teaches us a lot.

Um, especially that first year, uh, 84 times I, and I counted, I don't know why I counted, but I did 84 times. I wanted to quit the first year and I picked up the phone and it might not have been the first person, second, third, sometimes it'd be the fifth, but somebody picked up. And I think knowing,

knowing that sobriety [00:15:00] does not run in my family. And being empowered to know if I have a dysfunctional family, it could be less dysfunctional if I become functional, knowing and also realizing that, hey, I do self sabotage when I get close to a goal. I do things to distract myself because I fear. What might come out of it, which is just shame, which is not being good enough.

Uh, whatever, whatever lies the enemy speaks. And so being able to identify what those lies are and realizing that, Hey, I'm just one decision away or, um, one good choice away from the next step, which, which sometimes would just be a paragraph. Um, sometimes I'd have to pause and pray, trust, seek, and make those declarations.

Right. Um, [00:16:00] to just trust that God wants this out. Uh, and so partnering with other creative minds, I think, is really helpful too. You know, being in an environment, I had to learn to, how to, how to be in a creative space. Um, initially writing testimony stuff was, was brutal. Um, it threw me back into post traumatic stress.

And, and so learning how to tell the story from a third person standpoint was huge for me. This happened to Ace. Ace went through this. These were the things that went on and not so much wrap myself and wrap myself into the story. I think definitely taking breaks and Trusting that if the Lord wants us out, he's gonna have it out.

And so I had great I had amazing help

just incredible [00:17:00] incredible people that helped me with the editing portion And just tremendous support for the community that said, Hey, this needs to get out. And so on January 1st, the book came out and, and by the grace of God, it, uh, that first week, it was a number one new release on Amazon for 12 step recovery.

Uh, number. Number four new release on Amazon for PTSD and number seven overall for, um, for health recovery. And so, I mean, that's all God. Uh, He, that's all Him. And, and it, it amazes me how, just by some encouragement from some brothers, um, speaking truth into something that you might not even believe in. Um, yeah.

Partnering with God in it. He'll make it happen if it's his will and so [00:18:00] I mean I I give it all to him man Vitamin G all day. 

Yeah, that's so good So ace what are some of those truths man that have really because truth is transformative, right? I mean when we start to combat the lies and I love that you know combating the lies with the truth the truth of the word of the Lord and what God really has to say about us and I mean If you had, uh, if you had to pick one or two, right?

And the list of truths that have been transformative to you, what are some of those keystone truths that, you know, you've grabbed a hold of that have helped, you know, transform your journey, you know, and ultimately, as you mentioned, turn it into this testimony that you're now sharing with other people.

Yeah, a couple, definitely a few things. Um, one, knowing that I am a child of God, right? And if he created me, And I have entered my loves. I have purpose

to [00:19:00] my authentic self is love, peace, joy, patience, long suffering, and self control amongst other things. Um, but with that, with that being said, uh, on the scientific, from a scientific standpoint, with my background being as a, being a medical, as a respiratory therapist, the brain has the capability to heal if, if it can be damaged, it also has a capability capability to heal and it can become more resilient than ever.

So those three things and holding on to those is, is what got me through a lot of dark times, writing it. Um, and to just kind of bring some, um, uh, bring some of the testimony to date. Uh, I had a PTSD episode at work that has had me off for a few months now. [00:20:00] Um, and so I'm currently going through that stage of recovery.

to, you know, just, just further, I guess, solidify the testimony that, that even, and during that time too. Right before the book was about to be published, um, it was really tough to, you know, not receive finances from, uh, from disability because that's, that's a whole process, right? And so, um, you know, the lack of buying Christmas presents for my kids, I think all those things were, were really, challenging to go through.

Um, but still, it's still God has, has purpose in it. And he, um, allowed it to come out when it was supposed to. And, um, yeah, you know, we can be, I think one key thing that I'm learning in this season, big time is that [00:21:00] I can use this in our suffering. Like he uses us in our suffering. He's Paul when he was in prison.

Um, he can use us. And so even though suffering through some nerve pain right now. Uh, we could still be, I can still jump on and, and be encouraged by you guys and vice versa. Um, it's just beautiful what I can do in the midst of our suffering. Cause I think he draws, he actually draws us closer to him during these times and protects us from, um, our own egos and from what we think we did on our own.

Cause it certainly wasn't just me, bro. 

Yeah. Wow. It's good. Wow. 

There's so much man there and that on God using us in the middle of the suffering, right? And I mean cuz it's It's one thing to do the victory [00:22:00] lap right after you get through a difficult battle, but man, it's another level of dependency on the Lord, like, to be able to, like, even, you know, I think of Paul writing letters from prison, you know, and some of the stuff that we read, and some of the most encouraging texts that we read.

I mean, a written from a place of Paul being in the middle of suffering or just after, you know, being on shipwrecked or beaten or whatever he had went through, you know, and, and, and what that says about the ability to really connect with God in those, those, those difficult moments, but yet, I mean, talking about the power of the testimony.

Still sharing that right? I mean we Robin I did that's probably one of our favorite verses on the podcast we overcome by the blood of the Lamb the word of our testimony and Continuing to share that because it's there's an overcoming effect that takes place in us as we can still see God's goodness Even in the middle of the difficult, you know, [00:23:00] 

yeah, you know, I think I think too.

It's really important to understand that Your story is your story. Right? No one could tell you different. You've been through what you've been through. You've experienced what you've experienced. No textbook. No, no, you know, like there's nothing that can debunk your story because it's yours. And I think it's really vital.

Um, one of the, one of the people that supports us. I'm going to shout out his page real quick. He doesn't even know this. It's coming, but Phillip O'Rourke, um, he has a brand. It's BU, right? Like, it's, it's, you know, um, the, the, the, the, the model behind that, um, I'm not 100 percent sure what that is exactly, but it kind of speaks for itself.

BU, like, it's, it's you. Like you, nobody can be you just be you stop trying to be a carbon copy of anyone else. And, you know, when we were talking about suffering, I kept [00:24:00] on thinking about the verse in Philippians where it says to live is Christ and to die is gain. It's really not suffering. This is the place of rejoicing because Paul says again in second Corinthians chapter 12 he says, for my grace is sufficient for my strength is made perfect in my what weakness.

He says, I'd rather boast in my infirmities and my weaknesses. And so God places us in these positions and so that he could be strong. Because as John said, John the Baptist said, I must decrease so that you could increase. We have to get out of the way. We have to get out of the way to make room for the father so that the son could be exalted.

And so we look at our stories and we're like, whoa, whoa, why, why am I dealing with this? And why does this person have this? And why does this person have that? It's like, bro, get out of your head, get out of your head, because it's not even about you [00:25:00] because what you went through ACE was necessary. For the redemption of the next man, because God used your creativity to write a book.

And that book is going to deliver more souls than you could ever do on your own.

But he didn't put you through what he put you through so that you can get the recognition. He put you through what he put you through so that he 

can get the glory. Amen. Everything 

that God does points back to him. Yeah, that's 

good. And 

so we look at, we look at PTSD and we, or we look at somebody that has a disease or whatever it may be.

And we're like, Oh man, like. Well, God can just heal that well, you know what sometimes God doesn't heal these things I'm a believer of that too. And yes, I said that I believe God healed. I've witnessed God do miracles, right? But I've also seen people that are standing in the faith that don't have limbs, [00:26:00] but they still have faith You know what?

I mean? It's like God uses it all nothing's wasted with the father But we look at our situations and circumstances sometimes as believers and we're like, oh man, like why am I going through this? It's like bro. Stop. You're not going through anything. We all have the same sufferings as the Bible tells us, you know And so when we learn to lean in on one another as Galatians says right to lift one another up to carry each other's burdens Man, look what happens.

And so it was the brothers that said, Hey Ace, I really think you should write this book. I really think you should write this book. They took you out of your comfort and brought you into a discomforting situation so that you would be able to inspire other individuals. That's God.

Amen. That's God. Yeah, it's so [00:27:00] good. And so I, I think, I think what we need to understand as a people is that, as you said earlier Ace, one of the truths that you stood to is understanding your identity. And this is something that the enemy is, like, just going crazy on right now within our society and culture.

He doesn't want people to know who they are. And I remember this vividly, when I was in Teen Challenge, there was a man by the name of Greg Hammond. And he preached the message. He's like, you have the orphan, and you have the son. They both get brought into the home. The orphan obviously becomes adopted, but the orphan doesn't know what he has access to because he doesn't identify as a son.

He still identifies as an orphan. Where the son goes into the home and opens up the fridge and knows what he has access to. Some people are in the kingdom of God and still operating under the [00:28:00] orphan spirit, not realizing that they're sons and daughters. 

That's huge. 

Yeah. So identity, identity is crucial to the faith.

Whether you're, it doesn't matter what you're going through in life. If you know who you are, and this is what blew my mind this morning. And when I was reading the passage of scripture in Hebrews chapter six, it's talking about how Abraham received the promise from God. Okay. And then it goes on to say that he waited patiently for this promise.

Well, when I looked up this word, waited patiently, it essentially means to endure. Now, enduring something doesn't mean that you're staying stagnant. That means you're moving forward 

and you're going to go 

through things. And so we as believers must understand that we have a promise. And when we understand our identity and we [00:29:00] understand the promise that's given to us, we're able to endure the hardships.

Ace, you're living out the scriptures, my brother. You're enduring through hardship because you know that there's a promise laying and waiting for you. That's a miracle. That's a testimony. That's why we love doing what we do. That's why we have this podcast. That's why we inspire other people. That's why we want it to reach the nations.

That's why we want this thing to blow up. It's because we want people to understand that their story is impactful and that it has a purpose. 

Yeah. 

Yeah, it's so good. 

And I see um, I kind of feel like i'm going not very deep after ask after rob just went And uh, they're just really laid it out 

Really passionate right there man, and I just had to unleash that because it's like 

I I [00:30:00] 

I don't know what you're going through, Ace, but can I say something, bro?

When I pray and I don't see it come to fruition or come to, come to pass and I can't heal you, that hurts, bro. Because I know you're hurting and it sucks when you have a brother in Christ that's hurting and you can't fix it. But you know what? I can rejoice. Why? Because this is temporary. This isn't forever.

This is just temporary, man. And so I'm inspired by you more than you ever could imagine. Because of what you're going through and you're still alive, you're raising your children and you're a husband, 

right? 

You're a father. This is good. I'm sorry. Let me stop. I got my little tears going on. We're on live 

television.

I thought it was, you know, I closed my eyes. I closed my eyes for like three seconds. I thought it was Eric Thomas talking to me, [00:31:00] man. I was like, wow. Yes. Powerful, brother. Thank you, brother. Yeah, 

man. 

Yeah. So, Ace, I'd love to hear on For a few minutes, like you talked about some practical things like physical breathing work and breath work and stuff like that, man on.

I've been wanting to ask this conversation. I, uh, what does that look like? You know, can you can you break some of that down a little bit and on and kind of. You know, kind of how that contributes through this whole process, you know? 

Sure. Yeah. So I'm not an 

expert medically. So, um, you know, I'm gonna, I'm gonna sound like an idiot if I try to explain it anymore.

So I'm just going to stop there. 

Oh man, you do, you do great. Um, well, I think there's, you know, if we, if we look at a toolbox and, and if we, if we look up like ways to heal or ways to reduce anxiety, you'll have like a thousand things that pop up. But focusing on just a couple, and turning them, turning those [00:32:00] tools into practices, I think is the key.

Uh, it, and, you know, and, and consistency. Um. It is just as important, if not more important, but also trusting the process of certain modalities. Um, I've been suggested hundreds of modalities and in the book I share what worked for me. Now it might not work for you, uh, but it might be something you might look up on YouTube and get into.

So, Um, I don't share, I didn't share in the book that I take, uh, ice baths, but those have been really helpful, you know, ice plunges, uh, cold water plunges have been really great to help increase my dopamine. Um, I think a lot of us in recovery suffer from some ADHD, so increasing that dopamine for an extended amount of time has been huge.

It's gotten me off. Adderall and [00:33:00] SSRIs, so that's been huge. I go into somatic breath work, which is kind of like Wim Hof breathing, where we do diaphragmatic breathing, instead of just, you know, right now we're just really breathing with like our upper airways. And so, taking those big, deep breaths. Um, I mean, to me, it's, I haven't smoked cigarettes in a long time, but it kind of gives you that, that, uh, that relief of just, just calming my whole nervous system.

So, um, that, uh, there's, there's a type of yoga called yoga Nidra. I'm probably butchering it, but we're. You're, you're lying down and kind of working, um, from either head to toe or toe up. And so you're like wiggling your toes and kind of just really being present in, in the moment and allowing, [00:34:00] allowing yourself to be mindful of what's going on.

Um, great modality that I use when I'm really struggling or when I feel amped up is to just get outside and I focus on my five senses now, they do, it's the five, four, three, two, one method where we, uh, what are five things I see? What are four things I hear? What are three things I can touch? Two things I smell and one thing I can taste and kind of going through that.

It gets me out of what is going on and what's spinning and what, how my body's reacting to being present. And I mean, we, we can do that right now. If you'd like, what are, you know, uh, For example, I, I see the snow coming down, um, I see a plant, um, I see you guys, I see a window, [00:35:00] I see this green shirt, this green top that I'm wearing and, and just keep going down, right?

Keep going down the line. Um, just slowing it down. So we, we just get centered. Um, those are some, those are some key ones for me when I'm, when I'm in an acute state. 

Those spiritual disciplines of like meditation and solitude, right? The ones that tend to be about quieting ourselves more are so beneficial, right?

Like but they're often the spiritual disciplines that are talked about the least Right, you know, it's the ones we avoid like, you know, like fasting almost, you know You know what I'm saying? Like the things that like slow us down And, and cause us to have to reflect and you know, that, that stuff is so, so huge, but like, man, everybody wants to talk about praying fire down from heaven and, you know, and being able to spread, spread [00:36:00] the scriptures out and, and it's good, but like man, solitude and just getting quiet with my thoughts.

And has always been one of those things that has been, it's difficult, you know, it is a, it's a discipline and it's, but it's so beneficial and useful. And, um, we were talking offline a little bit kind of about this seasonal depression, you know, and, and knowing man, knowing this is one of those things that I kind of, I deal with in January, like every year.

Nevertheless, this is that month, it's just heavy and like, you know, early on when I first started recognizing it, it was a much bigger weight, you know, but you talk about the toolbox, right? And we were kind of going through some of that. Like, I, I recognize that like, like during this season. I'm going to mentally, I'm going to go.

I'm going to go to those places. I'm going to struggle a little bit. And so I've got to kind of put some stuff in place to, to meet that when it comes on, you know, and, and on. [00:37:00] And that's, it's so huge, you know, it's, it's Elijah, the depression for Elijah came on the other side of the mountain after Mount Carmel, he ended up in the cave.

The time to prepare for that isn't when you're coming down the mountain, it's while you're climbing up. Because you know, the other side is coming and a lot of us, we kind of, we pause and we don't think about that until we're coming down. And then at that point, it's like, you know, we're, we're in the cave already, you know?

Yeah. No, that's huge. I. You know, towards the end of the year, um, I felt, I felt really heavy as well and it's interesting. I was speaking to, um, some sisters about what happens at the end of the year going into the new year. And they talk about like doing, um, like an emotional purge, right? So, and it's interesting because.

If you think about, let's call it [00:38:00] like spring cleaning, right? You're, you're removing stuff so you can make room for, for new things. I think that's, that's also the case with our emotions and, and preparing ourselves for what God has for us in the new year and January to me is always pretty challenging as well.

Um, I'm glad you're bringing up this topic because it's like, if, if we set ourselves up for, to prepare for, um, a renewed way of being or, or continuing in the path that God has us in. Um, There's got to be some stuff to be removed. You know, it's kind of like plowing snow and making way in the driveway. I know, um, Robert probably doesn't have to worry about that right now, but, but yeah, making way for, for what's to come.

And it's uncomfortable when it first, when it, when if, when you get into these new ways of being, um, and kind of drawing the line, the line in the sand and saying, Hey, I'm not, I'm making a [00:39:00] declaration that. I'm not going to do certain things that I used to really sticking with that. Right. I think it's so important to have community.

Um, and I mean, we're here in Idaho. We have, we're supposed to get like three and a half feet of snow over the next day or two. And I'm, I'm like, okay, well. I will be stuck at home, there's a high probability that I'll experience that seasonal affective disorder, or whatever you want to call it, um, that Justin just mentioned.

And so what can we do, right? Um, go hit the gym, you know, maybe stay inside and get centered and, and really be intentional with this time. Yeah, that's really good. I think sometimes, 

for me, I look at those moments and, you know, my mom, when we used to call me a busybody, I always had to do something. I remember when I was living with my mom, my wife, and my [00:40:00] firstborn, Josiah.

And she was always like, man, you guys always have to be doing something. Y'all always on the go. Like, y'all don't know how to sit at home and just, just rest, give your body some rest. And I was like, mom, like, what do you mean? Like, um, uh, there's things to be done. Like, you know, I have a kid, but she, she was teaching, she was trying to teach me a very valuable principle about life.

And it's, it's, as you guys were mentioning, and you guys were kind of hitting on this already, but it's, it's self reflection, self, you know, you have to analyze like, like what you're going through, what, why are you thinking the way that you're thinking, why are your thoughts going this way, right? Why do you feel the way that you feel?

But we're afraid to ask these type of questions because it begins to unpack some things, and then it becomes very messy. And nobody likes a mess, right? You know what I mean? Like we, we, we want our lives to always be put together, right? [00:41:00] That's what I mean for me, man. I used to get tired of like just the people in the church because every time you see them, it's just like, I'm blessed and highly favored.

It's like, oh, you are not always blessed and highly favored. And I like, I get what you mean by your blessing. Like I get, I get that. But it's like. That's not even like a term throughout scripture, you know what I mean? Like you just found a couple passages and then made it to something to where it's like now you You have this church lingo, but it's like yo, like let's be real.

Like what are you going to brother? How can I pray for you? Amen. I'm struggling this week. You know, I had some temptations. I'm trying to learn how to process some of these thoughts. I'm having self doubt as a parent or as a husband, right? Like, these are things that actually really begin to develop and evolve the individual and who they are called to be.

But if we ignore these things. And we allow them to just lay dormant in our lives. The [00:42:00] enemy has his way and becomes to kill, steal, and destroy everything that God has called us to. He wants us to do that. But y'all were saying something, and I'm going to share this, right? Because last year was probably the hardest year for my family and I.

The hardest year. It was a very difficult year. And I thought I had forgiven a specific individual. And I was holding this weight, I was holding this weight, and I didn't even realize I was holding this weight until the Lord kind of just like, hit me dead in the face, you know, I'm like, I mean like, just Punch me hard.

He's like, the reason why you are the way you are is because you haven't released this individual. You haven't forgiven. And I kid you not, ever since I've forgiven this individual, I feel like everything has just been falling into place. Am I where I want to be? No. Everything like I'm liberated, feel good.

I have confidence it's because I've [00:43:00] released the very thing that I was holding onto that I've ignored because it laid dormant. I didn't realize it was there, but as I allowed myself to sit still in the presence of God, he's exposed the dark areas of my life. So I can bring it to the lights because truth does what we said this in the beginning, truth does amazing things.

You free. 

Yeah. But we would, we would rather believe the lie of the enemy than believe the truth of God's word. 

Yeah. 

And so half the reason why we are or where we are, or the, where half the reason we're where we are, is because of the fact that we've, we've bought into the system, we've bought into the lie.

Right. And so for, for me, man, like, yeah, like I, I just encourage people that are listening right now. You might have thought you [00:44:00] forgiven somebody just because you were like, oh, yeah, but let me ask you this Could you pray for that person right now? 

Could you 

could you call them up and and have a conversation?

Would you invite them back over to your 

house?

What does forgiveness really look like from a biblical perspective and I know this is a little off topic, right? This is probably something we could talk about offline or another podcast. I don't know But I think for you, Ace, like, and just like where you're at and like what you're doing through your book, man, you're really giving people tools.

And I think that's the point that I want to make right here is that we have the tools to get us from where we're at so that we can go to where 

we want to go. Yeah, you know, that's that's powerful. Um, you know, I've always thought that, like, there's no way I can, for [00:45:00] me, it's difficult for me to think my way into good acting.

But if I, but I can act my way into good thinking. So what are some actionable, so what are some actionable steps I could get into, right? Um, I think a lot of us here are, are on route, have spent some time in recovery, and, and that step four amends, man, that step four amends where we, we talk about how a situation or person affected us emotionally, maybe financially, spiritually, um, physically, and, and, and Writing down how it affected us, right?

And then even going into, um, how we would like the situation possibly resolved, um, and being bold enough to. Ask that person, which is kind of crazy, kind of scary, to ask that person for forgiveness. And, you know, so working with my sponsor, we talk about, [00:46:00] um, you know, writing out, writing out a letter and giving it, either giving it to that person or asking, Hey, I have an amends to make.

Would you like that in person? Would you like it on the phone? Or would you like me to send you a letter? Then it's up to them. But we've already made the actual steps to go through, um, that amends because it's, it's not about them. It's, it's, it's about my reaction to what happened and it's not happening presently, but it's affecting me presently and it could affect, continue to affect my future.

And that's what, that's the crazy thing. I was hurt by the individual, but I said, Hey man, I need you. I need you to forgive me, bro. Because I had you bound up in a prison that you don't belong in.

Meanwhile, I got set free from the Lord, but I'm binding somebody else in another prison that they don't belong in. 

Yeah. 

Bro, I was going away because it's like that one passage of scripture, right? Where the dude gets, he gets all his [00:47:00] debts forgiven. Right. And then what happens? He goes back to the dude that owes him money is like, Hey, bro, you better pay me right now.

Are you going to pay me for you for to get this dad? 

You 

tell me. And God's like, no, it doesn't work that way. I forgave you. You got to forgive him as well. Yeah. 

Right. And Robert, I love that. 

Sorry, but it's, we are putting spiritual strongholds on people. And this leads me all the way back to my original point that I made earlier.

God is creative, right? God created the world with his work, with his words. We are putting spiritual strongholds on individuals by the power of our words. There is life and there is death. And the power of the tongue.

Yeah, that reminds me, brother. Um, [00:48:00] it's so powerful in, in, in Hebrew. Uh, and correct me if I'm wrong, I'm not a, I'm not a scholar or anything, but ain't no scholar here either, brother. You alright? Thoughts? Hey, thoughts and thoughts and words are the same thing. It's the same word, right? It's. So our, our, our thoughts and words are like one, it's, I think that's why the Bible talks so much about you in our mind because our thoughts become words that become actions and all of a sudden we're, we're walking out of the spirit.

And I, I don't know about you guys, but when I started trying to play God in my life. That's it. It just gets real silly. It gets real silly. Great. 

So yeah, we did that on Monday. We started working on working with recovery alive. No, on Tuesday we started out working, working. This recovery live program [00:49:00] with the guys and we're going through the 12 steps, the students, the center, and we talked about the illusion of control on Monday and, and that one was always, that's always fun to deal with right where we try to play God in our lives and think we have control when we really don't, you know, like we really don't have much control.

Like, like we, we, yeah, it was just, it was a good topic, man. Yeah, that process. I mean, y'all were talking about the making amends and I mean, there's always more opportunity to be hurt. Right. And I, and I'm constantly trying to think through that, like, you know, the, the, the opportunities to be mistreated or misunderstood and, and where a lot of times.

You know, people get a respond viscerally to something we do, whether it be helping them like this is especially true serving in ministry, like there's so many opportunities to, you know, to be misunderstood and like, and, and something they're dealing with ends up projecting on you. But then, like, you have this [00:50:00] moment where you can easily slip into offense and bitterness and unforgiveness because of their reaction to what you were trying to do to help.

Right. And that, um, that's, that's such such one of those things, man, constantly got to be on alert with. And I don't, I'm not sitting here on a throne acting like I have it right. Because I struggle with it so often. And it's like, Okay, Lord, you know, I've got to pause here and forgive these people, you know, or, yeah, ask for forgiveness if I if I missed the mark, you know, but 

but let's, I mean, in And just to take it one step further, right, you know, and I know we're almost wrapping up here, but think about what, let's look at the model, the life of Christ.

When Jesus ever addressed anyone, he didn't address them. He addressed the spirit. Yeah. He addressed the spirit. And then when he was on the cross, he said, Father, forgive them for they do not know what they do. He understood the [00:51:00] state of their being. They didn't have a kingdom mind. And we are expecting carnal man to understand kingdom principle.

I 

heard, uh, I heard somebody say yesterday, Rob, he, he extended the forgiveness while the murder was still 

happening.

I heard that on a podcast the other day, dude, and that 

just, yeah, like, 

and. And man, here I am, the stuff that I'm holding on to, right? 

Right, Joker stole your lollipop, it's very great. You and me are still tripping on 

the Joker. It was cotton candy, man, it was my favorite flavor. Yeah, bro, yeah. Oh. 

Like, he ain't put no cream on my coffee, like, he cut me off, like, oh.

Oh my gosh. Yeah, man. We 

tripping, we are, we are so. Dumb sheep. That's what we are. Dumb 

sheep. Hey, don't, ain't no wonder why the Holy Spirit had to come in. I mean, I mean, we all, we all weren't Jobes, bro. [00:52:00] So, the Holy Spirit had to come in. 

That's my new clothing line. I'm gonna have a clothing line that says, Dumb Sheep.

Like, 

I don't even 

I'm getting one. I'm getting a hat, mate. Custom hat. 

Oh, actually, you know what? It'd be really funny to be like, you know what? It should say, this is some dumb sheep.

So, Ace, 

how can people connect with you, man, and get a copy of the book? I did put the Amazon link in the comments, but any other places that people can connect with you right now to kind of follow along on this journey, 

man? Yeah, absolutely. So, um, well, here's the book. It's called Triumphing in Truth.

Transforming Trials into Testimonies. Um, you can find it on Amazon. It is available through Kindle. Um, I, in the book, I left my email address there, so if anybody wanted to contact me, um, I offer coaching as well. Walk with people through the 12 steps of testimony, to get to a [00:53:00] testimony. Um, and you can find me on Instagram.

It's ace underscore T A underscore gram, so ace to gram. And Uh, well, I'm also on Facebook, first and last name, find me there. And, uh, you know, I'm just really excited to continue to, to build this out and help people to, you know, transform their trauma and do a testimony. 

Man, that's powerful. That's awesome.

Rob, did you have any parting words, my 

friend? No, man. I think I shared a lot today.

Much needed, bro. Much needed. Yeah. 

Well, everybody, man, for jumping on and on. If you're here still hit the like button. Bye. Bye. Smash that subscribe button. Wait, they say that backwards. I always jack that up, but I hit the share button, let people know about this story, man. And if you get a chance, the link is either above me or below me.

So jump over to Amazon and pick up a copy of ACE's book on God bless you guys. Thank you for following along [00:54:00] and uh, we'll see you on the other side.

Navigating the Path to Sobriety and Beyond: An In-depth Interview with Ace

In this episode, talks about rebuilding life after addiction as they interview Ace, a friend and fellow Christian who just published a book about his experience. Ace shares how God utilized his struggles to mold him into a new, better person. He was addicted to various substances and suffered from PTSD after serving as a respiratory therapist assigned to the first community-spread Covid patients in the United States. After hit rock bottom with a failed suicide attempt, he decided to change his life and chose sobriety. Now, he uses his journey as a testimony to help and inspire others, helping them endure hardships and unlock their potential. Throughout the discussion, they touch on various subjects, including the importance of realizing our identity, truth's transformative power, managing seasonal depression, and embracing suffering.

00:01 Introduction and Welcoming Guest
00:05 Guest's Journey to Sobriety
01:36 Guest's Background and Struggles
02:03 Guest's Experience with Addiction and Recovery
03:05 Guest's Testimony and Impact
08:54 Guest's Journey to Writing a Book
13:32 Guest's Experience with PTSD and Recovery
19:53 Guest's Current Challenges and Faith
22:40 Discussion on Identity and Faith
30:30 Inspiring Words and Emotional Moments
31:08 Discussing Practical Techniques for Mental Health
31:40 Exploring Different Healing Modalities
34:03 The Power of Mindfulness and Sensory Awareness
35:21 The Importance of Solitude and Reflection
36:15 Dealing with Seasonal Depression
37:33 The Power of Forgiveness and Emotional Purge
39:04 The Importance of Community and Self-Reflection
42:12 The Impact of Unforgiveness and Holding Grudges
47:34 The Power of Words and Thoughts
52:22 The Journey of Writing a Book
53:37 Closing Remarks and Goodbyes