I recall an incident in church when, just as the Pastor began speaking, a faint ringtone echoed through the hall. It wasn’t the usual ring; someone had set a song as their ringtone. At first, I assumed I was the only one hearing it. But as minutes passed, I realized others were also distracted by it. Normally, when a phone rings during a service, people quickly silence it, often blushing with embarrassment. (I’ve been there myself, with my phone ringing from the pulpit!) On this day, however, the phone continued to ring for a good 15 minutes. Everyone shot periodic glances, silently willing the owner to silence it. Yet, no one (including me) took the initiative to tap the person’s shoulder and notify them.
Observing this, my inner Christian/Blogger sprang into action. I whipped out my iPhone and began noting down my thoughts, connecting this incident to some profound recovery principles.
Isn’t it surprising that sometimes, people might be oblivious to the problems glaringly evident to others? From an outsider’s perspective, it’s often a baffling, “HOW CAN THEY NOT HEAR THE PHONE RINGING?!” This is a classic case of delusion in the context of recovery.
Delusion is defined as a strongly-held belief that persists despite overwhelming evidence to the contrary.
As a recovering addict, I remember the lies I’d tell myself. “It’s not that bad. I have control. I can quit when I want to.” Yet, my life was unraveling at the seams.
Conversely, those close to the person in denial often react like the church-goers did to the ringing phone. “They’ll realize it soon. The ringing will stop. It’s not disruptive.” But all the while, the addict’s life is crashing down.
For those supporting our loved ones, it’s crucial not to be sucked into this delusion. We must consistently voice the truth and provide a grounded perspective.
Today, I urge you to step out of your comfort zone. If you see someone in denial, metaphorically tap their shoulder and alert them to the ringing phone in their life.
They might just be grateful you did.
