EP 202 | From Addiction to Redemption: Matt Cross’ Powerful Story

Transcripts are AI Generated and may have errors.

[00:00:00] All these thoughts are like, God, I’ve done all these things and yet I find myself back at this place again. I was, I didn’t know how those kids were gonna turn out, so I never judged the kids like by their parents, the family they came from or anything like that, because God had done that in my life.

[00:00:18] Like he brought me from the gutters and what, what enabled me to live a good life. I want them to know that it doesn’t matter what they were born into, it doesn’t matter what they’ve gone through. I. It doesn’t matter how far they’ve sinned or what’s happened to them, whether they grew up rich or poor, whether they have a education or not, that if God calls you to do something, he’ll give you the ability to do it.

[00:00:45] Well, man. Welcome to another episode of Rebuilding Life After Addiction. Uh, thank you guys again so much for tuning in. My name is Justin Fran. Excited to have you here today. Again, if you’re new here, please um, hit the like button, subscribe to the channel, uh, as we continue to provide inspiring content and inspiring stories, uh, to help you rediscover your purpose and find, um, man, find a life after addiction.

[00:01:08] ’cause that’s really what it’s all about. And I’m excited about having my guest today. Um, man, pastor Matt Cross. Matt, how are you, man? Doing good, brother. Thanks for having me on today. Yeah, man, I, I appreciate it. Sorry, checking the audio real quick. I had too many instances where everything crashed after recording.

[00:01:24] Didn’t realize it until after talking for 45 minutes. Yeah. But man, I’m excited to connect and sit down and chat with you and, um, same here, brother. It’s, it’s exciting. We’re here at the Path Church, and. Man. So you’ve had a journey, right? You’ve, yeah. You’re associate pastor here at the church. Yep. You’ve, um, worked as a CEO in the jails.

[00:01:42] Yep. You’ve been a sheriff. Yep. You, uh, ran for school board, got attacked and called all sorts of names. I don’t know if that’s still happening or not, but I’m still a bigot and racist. Right. Hate when that happens. Um, but before all of that. Like, I’ve known you for a while and I, I remember hearing some of your [00:02:00] testimony pieces of it throughout the year.

[00:02:02] Yeah. And how the Lord got ahold of your life, like you had some addiction struggles Yeah. Absolutely. In your life and on. Absolutely. Man. I’d love to just hear you kind of take us back to the beginning. Like, I, how did, how did Matt. You know, end up a drug addict, you know, dealing with this type of stuff, uh, before all of the cool stuff that you’ve got to do since.

[00:02:22] Yeah. Yeah. Thanks. Thanks for that. You know, I was just thinking here recently, uh, Justin, how, um, I can remember being like maybe 10, 11. Years old. Uh, my parents were going through a divorce and I remember driving down, I can I almost point you out on the Interstate 81 where we were driving. We, my family had moved from Stuart Draft and made the journey up here to Rockingham County where my dad was working in the hospital.

[00:02:48] Uh, he used to fix the CT scanners that you go and if you get a C CT scan, and I, I can just remember just thinking to myself, man, I really. Wanna grow up and be someone that helps others. Mm-hmm. And I didn’t know at 10, 11 years old what that meant, but I knew that there was a passion inside of me that I just wanted to help people.

[00:03:07] Yeah. And I am so that, it’s just funny how I think about that going back and, and seeing where God’s brought my life and where the enemy tried to take me at a, at a young age and through addiction and uh, and to see what God has done through my life. Just by being, um, not only faithful, because, you know, sometimes we’re not faithful, but he’s still faithful, right?

[00:03:31] Yeah, yeah, for sure. And so it’s nothing that I’ve done. I’ve earned any of this. It’s been the grace of God that has helped me along the way. Ands kept me along the way. Yeah. And so, um, I was, I, I started doing drugs when I was like 12 years old. And I can remember that was the first time where I, I started smoking weed when I was 12.

[00:03:53] And, um, it just, you know, it led down from smoking cigarettes to, and getting [00:04:00] drunk to getting high to the time when I graduated high school, uh, me and my buddies were going to, uh, up to Baltimore, uh, to buy cocaine. Mm-hmm. And that’s at the end of my. Me graduating high school was kind of, I was already burned out.

[00:04:16] You know, some kids, you know, they graduate, they go off to college, they get their party and stage out of ’em. Man, I was, I was full throttle from like sixth grade on. Yeah. Wow. And so when I, when I came to faith. In 1998, uh, as a senior in high school, like I was just, I was searching for God. Yeah. And, um, yeah, a a lot of, a lot of things happened leading up to that.

[00:04:42] But, um, I started when I was 12, so everybody talks about like addiction, right? And addiction is, is not really the root, but it’s the fruit, right? Yeah. There’s something going on on the inside. Yeah. And so. 12 years old, 13 years old, starting to experience like, was it like a response to maybe any particular event?

[00:04:59] I know you mentioned your parents got divorced and whatnot. Yeah. Or was it modeled for you, I mean, influences in your life? Like what kind of, you know what, what makes a 12-year-old start using drugs? Right. Yeah. Yeah. I. I think mine, mine was like outta curiosity at first. Okay. Like, first of all, like I, I was raised with this, uh, for the most part.

[00:05:18] When I was sixth grade, my mom and dad got divorced. My mom stayed in Maine. My, I came, me and my three brothers, uh, with my dad back to Virginia and had a lot of free time on my hand. Right. And so I was just hanging out, kicking it with my, with my friends in, in high school. And, and, um, just, that was the part where I was.

[00:05:40] That’s where I think I didn’t have that structure and I had that freedom to kind of go and, uh, the drugs I think led into more like a, a just kind of more, a lot of fear working in my mind and things like that. Yeah. To where I think that that fear [00:06:00] inside. My life was, was being masked by the addiction as well.

[00:06:05] Like, you know, getting high to just fit in to also to, to mask some of the pain. Sure. You know, that also that I went through, through just a child of, uh, growing up and your parents going through divorce and Yeah. The things you hear, the things you see. Um, and then add, add to that, having all that free time with no structure in my life.

[00:06:26] Like I looked at my kids now, like me being a dad and you know, I still don’t have it all together. Right. But I looked at my kids and like, man, you’ve got, you’ve got it so much better than what I had. They don’t believe that though, do they? No, they don’t. They don’t believe it all. They don’t even know. But you know.

[00:06:42] Uh, you know, I’ve taken my kids on mission trips out out of the country. My dad couldn’t afford that when I was a kid. Right? Yeah. Wow. And so my kids at 13, 14 years old, they’ve been able to experience third world countries. Yeah. And man, I I, I lived in poverty though, right? Like, my dad was struggling to pay the bills.

[00:07:00] He was, uh, he would umpire baseball games just to feed us at nighttime some nights. And so, you know, we grew up with. Struggling. Yeah. You know, so I, I think there’s a lot of admiration there for your dad, I’m sure. Yeah. Yeah, man. Love that guy. Yeah. Yeah. Good guy. And my mom and dad are some of the best people they went through.

[00:07:22] They struggled a lot. My mom, uh, grew up as a, basically as an orphan, and, uh, was brought in and. She had a hard life growing up and so I have a lot of respect Yeah. For my mom. But, uh, I mean, that’s uncommon too though. I mean, you thinking about hearing the story, like you don’t hear all three kids going with dad too often.

[00:07:40] Yeah. Right, right. And so for your dad to fight through that, I mean that’s, it’s incredible. Yeah. It was four of us. It was four four of us that decided to go back with dad. We had moved to Maine and uh, dad said, you know, where y’all want to head to and let’s, we said, let’s go back to Rockingham and I. I, it was all about sports at the time, you know, for us.

[00:07:59] [00:08:00] ’cause we were playing baseball and basketball and, but I, man, that was about 12 years old when I started, uh, doing drugs and, um, it just led me down just a a, it led me down a bad path. Yeah. You know? So let’s fast forward then. So you said, you, you, you, you mentioned earlier that, um. By the time you hit 18, 19, like you’re just done.

[00:08:24] Yeah. You just burnt yourself out, like Right. A lot of people do run that, run that race for years. Yeah. And never get, never get free. Was there a turning point anywhere in there that, you know, you kind of got to this point after Yeah. That’s a six year period, right? Yeah. And starting at 12. It’s significant.

[00:08:42] I mean, that, that’s, that’s a formative years of our lives. Yeah. And, and influenced by different substances and whatnot. Yeah. So what was the turning point that kind of started to shift your life? Well, the, the turning point man was, um, one evening, uh, it was dark time. I was riding my bicycle down, um, uh, the road to my older brother’s house.

[00:09:04] He lived down the road in an apartment and. Um, I, I heard a, a voice, which I believe was just a voice of, of Satan, the voice of the enemy. Say, I got you now. Hmm. And when I, when I heard that, like, that fear, like just was like, it struck me, uh, it struck me like to my core and it really led me like on, I didn’t know what it was at the time, but I, I’d experienced my first panic attack, uh, in my, and that I had.

[00:09:35] Knew what it was like a panic. I didn’t know what it was till later on in life where I had another panic attack later on in, uh, my early thirties. And, um, that panic attack led me just into like anxiety, a lot of fear, a lot of worry, things like that. And that was my turning point. Like I began to, um, seek God at that time.

[00:09:57] I remember my dad, uh, what took us to a, a [00:10:00] Christian Church when I was younger and, um. I, I started reading the Bible and it was, it was King James Bible, you know, and, but my dad had a lot of these verses highlighted in the Bible. Yeah. And, um, I didn’t understand it when I read it. Like my, my favorite verse when I came to faith was Matthew 1128 through 30.

[00:10:19] It’s the verse where Christ says, come on to me all you labor and our heavy, and I’ll give you rest. Yeah, that’s great. Take up my yoke. Learn of me for my yoke is easy and my burden is light. You shall find a rest for your soul. And when I heard that word yoke, Justin, like the only yoke I knew was egg yolk.

[00:10:34] I wasn’t a country boy, right? I, I grew up in a rural Virginia, right? But I wasn’t a country boy. And so I’m like, I, the Bible like was foreign to me. Jesus. Black me in the face of an egg, you know, like, yeah. Like, what do you mean yolk? Like I, I didn’t understand. Stand it. But, uh, one thing I understood was that when I read the word, there was peace that followed.

[00:10:58] And so even though I’m sitting down reading this book that I don’t understand, um, it’s given me peace as I read it. And so I, I started going to this church. This guy had brought, had had asked my dad to come to, and it was an old, old time Pentecostal Holiness Church. Nice. That they brought me to, and that’s where I heard.

[00:11:17] The, for the first time an old lady speaking in tongues and like my dad was a good Baptist guy. Right? So could you set the stage for the second Pentecostal Holiness, right. For the audience who may not understand or have the uh Okay. Have the, what does that mean, right, Pentecost. So what set the scene in a typical Sunday morning Pentecostal Holiness church for those who have no clue.

[00:11:37] So I walk into the church baggy jeans. Uh, I would, I, you know, I look like Bob Marley. I tell people all the time, my, I, I washed my hair, but I, but I didn’t wash it too well. And so, you know, I had knots in the back of my hair and I was just like a hippie kid growing up. And so I walk into this church and, uh, the pastor that Sunday, that Sunday night or Wednesday night, I forget which one it was, he [00:12:00] preached on men having long hair.

[00:12:02] Well, I’m the only man in there sitting, or a young guy sitting there with long hair. Do you think he changed the message when he saw you walk in? Yeah, I think he was inspired as soon as he saw me, you know, and so, uh, you know, the women wear real long dresses, no makeup, uh, hair, usually up in a bun. All the men with suit and ties.

[00:12:20] Uh, nothing wrong with that, you know what I mean? But it was just, here I am coming off, you know, kind of the street wise. Not like gangster Street, but just like I’m coming out of addiction, coming out of, like I told you, at 12 years old, I just started going hard and I, I walk it to that church and I can remember it had a brick background in the church and I remember like seeing, uh, a vision of Jesus’ face and he was smiling at me.

[00:12:47] Hmm. And, and I thought to myself, I was like, it was like, God, how could you be smiling at me? Yeah. In this moment of. Anxiety and mm-hmm. And, and fear and stuff I’m going through, but I can remember seeing the face of Jesus. Yeah. Smiling at me at that time. And I, I went forward, uh, to the altar, uh, one night, and man, I was like, I was.

[00:13:13] No one came and laid hands on me. No one came and did anything. It was just me at the altar saying, God, if, if you can use me, use me. Yeah. And that’s where my journey began. As a 12th grader in high school, I can remember not long after that, Justin, that I, I am, I was walking down the hallway and this, this, um, assistant administrator.

[00:13:36] Was there who never had one conversation with me. Didn’t, didn’t know me, but you know, I looked rough. You know, I long hair bag of jeans. I was just, had I, I’m sure they knew like, you know, I was, I was the kid using drugs and drinking and things like that. And, and he came up to me and he said, you know, I’ve seen kids like you and I know how they turn out.

[00:13:57] Hmm. And that’s the only thing he said to me. And I was [00:14:00] like, well. I knew he wasn’t telling me anything. Like, I’m going to Harvard, right? I’m, I’m going to some Ivy League school. Things are gonna be great. He was telling me, yeah, I’ve seen kids like you, and they end up in, in jail and prison in the grave.

[00:14:12] And, and um, only thing I knew to say is I looked at him. I said, okay. Yeah. And I walked away. But one thing he didn’t know at that time was that I had to give him my life to Christ. Mm. And even though I looked the same on the outside, there was something happening on the inside. Yeah. That’s so good. That was taking root inside my life.

[00:14:31] Yeah. And um, so when I walked back into that school. A decade later as a school resource officer. Yeah. Wow. That’s why I say God’s got a sense of humor. Right? Yeah. I, I was the last person to succeed outta my class, I’m sure. Yeah. And I was the last person that anyone ever believed would ever go into law enforcement.

[00:14:52] Right. Yeah. And the sheriff of Rockingham looked at me, he said, you know, I see your background, what you’ve shared, your drugs and things like that. But, um, he said, I, I truly believe you. You’re a changed man. Yeah. And he said, I’m gonna give you an opportunity. And that’s when he, he started me out in the jail and I just kind of went from there and I on for a 12 year, uh, journey in a law enforcement career.

[00:15:13] So. So how did that process play out, like. Going from being in the school, having this negative words book, you’re never gonna make it. Yeah. You’re a failure. And I think like a lot of people, I mean, a lot of people feel that, right? Yeah. I think some of the questions that are being asked by those trying to get out like, man, can I, am I, am I irredeemable?

[00:15:31] I. Right. Right. And so you’re talking about already dealing with the anxiety Yeah. And all those internal struggles. Yeah. And then somebody that’s supposed to be speaking life into your future. Right. Confirms, right. All the anxiety that you’re feeling already. I mean, you got the world against you already.

[00:15:48] Yeah. You get some difficult situations at home, you know, fighting through these addiction battles. And so you said Jesus was doing something on the inside of you. Right. But how did that, I mean, how did [00:16:00] that begin to materialize? Right. There’s a lot of, a lot of question about how do I find God’s will?

[00:16:04] Yeah. How do I find the purpose of God for my life? Yeah. And like I’m assuming resource officer was nowhere on the list. No. No. Yeah. So how do you get from Yeah. In that hallway, having those negative words spoken to you to, yeah. 10 years later coming back and yeah, I’m here as a school resource officer.

[00:16:24] Like, that’s, that’s wild. Right. You know? Yeah. Yeah. It’s, it’s, it’s funny that, you know what I did? I threw myself at God. Mm-hmm. I threw myself at God. I, I was sitting, I could take it to the porch I was sitting on in ville that my dad, uh, rented this house from. And I grew up in my, my, uh, my freshman year through my senior year till I moved outta the house.

[00:16:48] And I’m, I was reading the Bible and I’m like, God, I, I’m, I’m, I’m. Hearing and seeing what Jesus can do in someone’s life. He heals the sick, he raises the dead. He cast out demons. He, he, he gives us a new life when we come to Christ. And I remember sitting there on that, on that patio and saying, God, if you’re alive, I.

[00:17:10] Then I wanna know you that are the same person today than what I You are when I read this book. Yeah. Wow. And when, when I, when I said that it’s, it’s the same actually prayer that, that Paul prays in Philippians when he says, oh, that I may know you. And in the power of your resurrection. Yeah. You know, Paul’s this internal thing is crying out saying, oh God, that I may know you.

[00:17:32] That’s what I was saying. God, I wanna know that you’re the same God in the Bible that I read about. Yeah. For sure. Yeah. And then I wanna know that you still have power to heal the sick, cast out demons. Yeah. And to do miracles in people’s lives. Yeah. If you’re that God. I’ll serve you. Yeah. And that’s what I did.

[00:17:47] I threw myself at God, man. Like I, I, I’ve, I found the church, it happened to be, uh, here at at Path Church and we were, me and my buddy Bobby Bergdahl, who came along the journey, [00:18:00] uh, close at the same time. Uh, and if we said, Hey, we’re gonna church this weekend, and we were driving down South mainstream in the Harrisonburg and we saw this sign that said, come worship Jesus with us.

[00:18:11] And we were like, Hey, let’s go there this Sunday and check it out. Right. And so we went in mean you’ve already been to the Pentecostal Hall in this church, so it can’t get much. You can’t get, you know, but so we went to the, we went to the, you know, the storefront, old steakhouse, you know, uh, church. It’s, it’s been torn down since, but I get outta the car.

[00:18:28] There’s this beautiful blond hair lady with this short mini skirt on. I look over at Bobby, I’m like, man, we found the right church. Yes. Okay. Amen. Here’s my car, my cardinal self. Right. But I walk, I walk inside this church and I, I see this picture of this girl on the wall, and I, I remember who she was and, and I am, I look in there and I see her dad and it was, it was Dan Garber and I remember Dan from the baseball field and being a coach.

[00:18:55] Yeah. And Elkton and I, man, that was the first time, like, I felt the presence of God. Hmm. When Pastor Renee began to lead in worship. Yeah. I tell a story that I, I just lost myself in worship and I was dancing. You keep talking and I am, I’m, I’m sitting there dancing and I, with my eyes shut and about knock over the, the, uh, uh, the drums.

[00:19:20] And so it’s just, that was the first time I came into the presence of God so thick. Hmm. So when I started attending Path Church and I, I’m, and I said, God, I want this, like, I, I want to know you. So I, what led me out of. The addiction, what led me out of the lies, what led me out of the fear, the anxiety, the panic attacks, all these things, was throwing myself at God and saying, God, if you’re real, and you can use anyone, here I am.

[00:19:55] Yeah. And that’s literally Justin. That’s like what I did. Like, I, I quit the [00:20:00] job I was working at, I was working at, I was working at Cores, uh, when I graduated, making really good money. And my dad was like, don’t you quit that job. Benefits and everything. Yeah. But it was working, you know, I was working 12 hour shifts.

[00:20:12] I couldn’t attend church, uh, but like every other weekend and I was like, no, God. Like I. I need to be in the presence of God. Mm-hmm. I need to be around the body of Christ. And I knew I needed that in my life. So I, yeah. I threw myself at God and it was God that, that brought me out of that dark place. Yeah.

[00:20:33] Yeah. That’s really good, man. And I think that that community piece is so vital. Oh, it’s huge. Like it is, it is. Like I, I tell people all the time, it’s the difference between success or failure. Yeah. Yeah. Like, you know, we use. We use recovery terms and all of that. And I, I use ’em a lot of times for dexterity ’cause the community understands them.

[00:20:51] Right? Yeah. But like it is New Testament Church. Yeah. Right. Like if, like, how do I break addiction? Like it’s, it’s laid out in the book of Acts, right? It’s laid out in the New Testament, right? Like, it’s not, it’s not complicated, but it’s difficult to do. Right? And you gotta really throw yourself at the purposes of God.

[00:21:10] So I want, I want to fast forward then to. A former drug addict working as a co. Yeah. And like, you know, ’cause like Yeah, I know the dynamics, right? Yeah. That exist between people that have been in the drug addicted lifestyle and police officers. Yeah. And man, I, I’ll never forget. I had, um, I had come outta Teen Challenge and I’ve told this story a few times and it’s, it cracks me up.

[00:21:33] Even to this day. I had a car full of Teen Challenge students driving through new markets and I get pulled over. Right. And homeboy rolls up to the car. Yeah. And I’m respectful. It’s all get out, you know, I’m still, I’m still new in the faith. Yeah. I’m still nervous around cops. Oh yeah. You know? Yeah. But he rolls up to the car and they don’t do this anymore.

[00:21:54] I think laws have changed, but I smell marijuana and I’m like, there’s no way [00:22:00] you don’t smell anything. And, and like probably cracked me up. But I got a car full of TC guys. Yeah. These guys have been clean maybe two days. Yeah. You know, and so they’re freaking out and he’s like, uh, I, I got probable cause I wanna search the vehicle.

[00:22:14] Can I search your vehicle? Oh wow. I’m like, you know what man? Have at it. Have at it. Go, go ahead, knock yourself out. It is a good feeling. And so, but it just cracks me up that dynamic, you know? ’cause I’m nervous. They’re nervous and so you kind of bridge that gap. Yeah. And then you end up on the other side of the authority.

[00:22:32] Yeah. Yeah. Right. And, and just, it felt weird for a while. Yeah. You know, you know, God, it wasn’t like, you know, I came out of addiction, came outta that and then boom. Right into, you know, being a sheriff, I think there was probably about. Probably almost a decade. Okay. You know, between that, like I, I started, I think I began in law enforcement when I was 27.

[00:22:53] So it was almost a decade, uh, of me changing. Like I remember that first time I got pulled over after I. Um, all coming outta addiction and coming out of being, doing drugs and everything else. Like when I got pulled over, like I was cool with the cop, I was like, I saw the blue lights. I didn’t freak out like, should I run or what should I do?

[00:23:13] And so I I That’s a good feeling when you finally come out and like you, you get pulled over by a cop, you’re like, Hey, yeah man. Worst thing can happen, Dave. Just get a ticket. That’s right. Yeah.

[00:23:27] So lemme ask you about that relationship with authority though. Yeah. Because it is, it is tumultuous, right. For those in addiction. It’s Right. Right. And, um, I mean, how important would you say it is to, to get that mindset shifted for those struggling with addiction? ’cause I know even, I know people, even 10, 15, 20 years later, they still struggle with that dynamic with law enforcement.

[00:23:50] Right. And they have this, like, these trust issues and all of that stuff. Right. And of course we, we live in a culture today that. Doesn’t make it easier. Yeah. Like, like look, we’re being [00:24:00] told all the time. Yeah. So how, how important is that dynamic for somebody, you know? Yeah. I, I, you know, Justin, I, the, the one thing that stood out to me and when I went into law enforcement was when I was sitting in the police academy and they asked, they said, I am, what was the number one reason why you wanted to come in this, get into this profession?

[00:24:19] And 98% of the people that was in that classroom said, because they wanted to help people. Mm-hmm. And I, I think for a majority police officers, that’s what they wanna do. Yeah. It’s good. They do want to help people. I am, but in every profession you have, you have bad apples. Right. You know, I believe me. Even teachers, some of them not good people.

[00:24:43] Right. I working in law enforcement. I know. Um, but. That doesn’t put a bad, like we know teachers are good. Right? Right. And so I think that law enforcement as a whole, they wanna help people. Yeah. And sometimes the best help that someone can get is to go to jail. Yeah. Because. That gets ’em away from the addiction.

[00:25:03] It helps ’em go get out of the, the, the place where they’re at. And maybe, maybe a fresh start for ’em, maybe. Yeah. But I am, uh, that’s, maybe you can look at, people can begin to look at law, law enforcement as, you know, they’re there to help too. I know some of ’em are, are arrogant, they’re jerks, things like that.

[00:25:24] Right. We talked about a second ago. That’s not all of them, right? There are a lot of ’em are there that do want to help and see, see you get free and not have to come and rush you. You know, it took me a few years, but I mean, after we pulled away from that car, I told the guys, I said, I said, you gotta understand this dude.

[00:25:39] He rolls up. I mean, all of you guys look like you’re up to something. Yeah. And all of us do. Yeah. Yeah. And so like I. I, yeah, I, I told the guys that day, I said, we just taught a lesson. Yeah. Like when you’re doing right, you ain’t nothing to worry about. Yeah. You know, and, and it is what it is. Like I’m not gonna make their life more difficult.

[00:25:55] You know? You mentioned that thread though, of helping others. Yeah. And, ’cause you mentioned [00:26:00] that early on in the story. Yeah. You heard God say that to you? Yeah. Way back in the day. Yeah. And, um, and throughout your life, I mean that after, after getting free. Yeah. That’s kind of been the drive. Quit my job all in on the kingdom.

[00:26:14] Yeah. You know, Sheriff’s office helping others. Yeah. And then other pursuits after that. And I mean, has there been like relapses over the years and, and that type of pursuit? Would you say that it contributed toward it or, you know what I’m saying? Like Right. No. You know, there I’ve had zero relapses of going back to drugs.

[00:26:35] Mm-hmm. Right. Like zero relapses, even with alcohol of wanting to be drunk or being drunk. Zero. Yeah. Um, I remember I woke up. I one day in my own throw up from, from just a very, uh, bad party the night before and my brother wakes me up like around 11 o’clock next morning. It’s like, Matt, we gotta get outta here.

[00:26:56] Yeah. And I got throw up just dried to me and I. I, I was still in the process then, like, like when I got saved. Like it wasn’t like I got saved and then all of a sudden boom, you know, I, I’m free from all, all the, uh, drugs and the alcohol and fear and things like that. It was a process that God took me through.

[00:27:15] Right. Right. And trusting him in walking with him. And so I am. I haven’t had relapses with any of the drugs or addiction. I will say this, like I, I said earlier, I, I was in my thirties and I had a, a second panic attack. Mm. And I don’t know if, if people have experienced, I know some people have experienced those panic attacks and man, that sent me like back.

[00:27:39] Remembering Yeah. Of what I came out of back when I was 19 years old. Yeah. And it was four years, uh, Justin of, of going through like. My faith, everything seemed like it was being shaken at the time. Mm-hmm. And I did a lot of research on this and a lot of studying, but a lot of preachers, old [00:28:00] preachers would say that it was a dark season of the soul.

[00:28:03] Mm-hmm. And, um, I, I went through a season like that, um, in 2016 and, uh, I’m a cop. Right. And, um, I’m in this position to help others, but, and I’m a pastor. I’m going on, uh, mission trips. I’m preaching in the pulpit. I’m serving the Lord, but internally, man, my faith was being shaken. Yeah. And, uh, the fear, the anxiety, all that stuff was real.

[00:28:36] And I can remember laying in my bed one night with my wife and, and she just was holding on to me and, uh, praying over me. And we got an saying that Kim Clement. Used to say, I, I see you in the future and you look a lot, uh, better than you do right now. Right. And, um, she just would prophe prophesy that over me.

[00:28:58] And I remember her saying like, you know, do you want to go to see a counselor or something like that? And I, and I’m telling her, listen, if I go to a counselor as a cop and I tell them the things I’m dealing with, Hmm. They’re probably gonna say, I don’t have a job. Right? Yeah. So here I am. I’m a dad, I’m a pastor, you know, I’m in law enforcement and I’m dealing with these things, and I feel like God is nowhere to be found.

[00:29:21] Yeah. Well, and it was a dark season of the soul for me, but God again brought me out of that dark place in my life. Yeah. And showed me that his goodness is greater than any darkness that can ever come. Yeah. And so, no, I never had a relapse back to drugs, and I didn’t even turn to drugs during that time.

[00:29:45] Right. Like I knew my only hope was Christ. Yeah. And so I am, I remember being out mowing the ch mowing the, uh, serving, you know, mowing the grass out, hear at the church, and I am just weeping [00:30:00] and crying. Mm-hmm. And remembering that verse in job, it says, although the Lord may slay me yet while I trust in him.

[00:30:08] Yeah. That’s great. And I said, I said, God, I, although the, even if I die in this situation, you know, I felt like he had abandoned me. I the ever that old, um, oh shoot it, it was, it is an old song, Christian song. It says that sometimes I feel you closer than my skin. Mm-hmm. You know, and other times I, I don’t feel you at all.

[00:30:27] That’s the kind of season I was going through. I had felt God as close as my skin. Right. Like breathing on me. Yeah. Wow. And then I felt like, God, where are you at? Yeah. And during that season of testing, during that season of, of going through that in my life, um, it took a lot of prayer. I took a lot of just seeking the Lord and it took a lot of me being honest with my wife.

[00:30:50] With my pastor and just allowing them to help walk me through that time in my life. Yeah. That’s really good. I I, I asked about that and I, that’s such a good story and I mean, so to get up to that point where, I mean, a lot of, a lot of turning back to our old advices Yeah. Is chosen in moments like that.

[00:31:11] Right, right. We want to escape. The anxiety, we wanna escape the dark night, the pain that we’re going through. Let me numb this so I’m not feeling it. And um, like, I’m curious on, on the buildup, like, ’cause I think. You, you said earlier that like, it wasn’t an instant moment at the altar. Right? Like I had, I, I had some struggles early on.

[00:31:33] Yeah. Like I was work, Jesus was working this thing out of me. Yeah. And I think a lot of people end up maybe in those moments. And misinterpret that this thing’s working. You know what I’m saying? Oh yeah. Yeah. And so what did those like put it like, I guess the best way to call it work out. I don’t work out much.

[00:31:49] Everybody can tell that. But like, like putting the reps in, right? Yeah. Yeah. To be able to get to your thirties. Yeah. And not burn your entire life down [00:32:00] around you. Right. Because you’re feeling something that you felt at 18. ’cause I can imagine mentally. Oh, what’s the point of all this? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like, I’m, I’m, I’m in, I’m in the ex, the enemy would say, I’m in the exact same spot I was Yeah.

[00:32:12] When I came out of addiction. Yeah. God’s not real. Right? And so, you know, you’re, you’re in the same place. You know, this is a figment of your imagination. All these, all these thoughts like, you know, where’s your God at now? Yeah. You know? And, and can you really be saved? Can you really be helped? Can you really be delivered?

[00:32:28] Right? All these thoughts are like, God, I’ve done all these things and yet I find myself. Back at this place again. Mm-hmm. You know, and it was just God really bringing me through that saying, I, listen, I got you here. Even back in, even in the midst of all that. So I, I think one of the things that, that I look back to in the, in that time, um, is trusting the Lord in that moment that I, that he was going to get me out of that, you know?

[00:32:59] Yeah. And. Because I had put in the reps. Yeah. Because I had put in the, the, the, the moments with God and knowing that like, man, you’re faithful. Yeah. Like, I, I love you. You know, I, I, I don’t do this because I wanna get paid, or I don’t do this because I’m trying to earn my salvation. But like, if you’re still real.

[00:33:24] You’ll get me through this too. Yeah. You know, and that, dude, that was tough. Yeah, that was, that was tough. But it, there was a determination in me still. In my thirties that said, God didn’t bring me this far to drop me now. Right. You know? Yeah. And it’s, it’s the, it’s the Exodus story all over again in our lives and, you know, theologically speaking, we all can kind of look at the Exodus story Yeah.

[00:33:51] And find our place in that story. Right. Yeah. And, and that’s where I was at. I was, I, God had brought me out into the desert. Mm-hmm. Yeah. [00:34:00] And I thought he brought me out there to kill me. Right. But he had a promised land. If I would trust him. Yeah. And so I had to face the giants, I had to face all those, um, the, those fears and anxieties and the lies of the enemy and say, so what?

[00:34:16] Right. What you got? Yeah. So what, so what? So, you know, so yeah, that was, that was my anchor. Throughout my, throughout that time and not a lot of people, I don’t share that a lot. You know, I, I do from the pulpit and things like that, but, um, that was part of my testimony. ’cause I don’t see my testimony just when God brought me out.

[00:34:37] But like, I’m still 11 living testimony now. Right? Yeah. Yeah. It’s definitely the testimony’s growing, I mean, yeah. And. So you, you mentioned your wife and, and, and pastor now being such a strong voice, right? Yeah. During that season and so family, right? Yeah. So you didn’t, you weren’t married while an addict.

[00:34:56] You didn’t have kids while an addict, you know, you came out on the other side of that. Yeah. My kids had never known that, that part of my life. They’d never known you as that. So, but do they know the story? Little bits. So it, they know little bits. Okay. Because as a father, I, I’ve not wanted to glamorize any of the stuff that I did.

[00:35:14] Right. Like, especially when they’re a young age, like I’ll, I’ll tell ’em more as they get older. Like I tell my oldest one some things now and he’s like, dad, you did what? Right. You know? But I never, I remember hearing stories of my dad, of him smoking weed and doing things and in some ways it kind of glamorized that and to when I became a teenager, I was like, well, I’m gonna have my own story.

[00:35:35] I’m gonna try it myself. Yeah. And uh, although he wasn’t trying to do that. Um, I just saw a, a, a pitfall there as a parent, like, Hey, you know, I think every generation should be better. Right? Right. Like, I want my kids to be better than me. And so I, I am, I knew that was a pitfall, like not to glamorize my past with them.

[00:35:57] Yeah. So I think about like, um, ask you a question about [00:36:00] parenting and all and all that for a second. ’cause I think about, so my parents did the best they could. Right? And as all of our parents do, um, and of course they didn’t know what they didn’t know. But when I was growing up, we, uh, I had a, I had a desktop computer in my bedroom, you know, 56 k internet.

[00:36:15] Yeah. Unfettered access to Napster and porn. Yeah, yeah. You know, and so my. Proclivity to fall into that addiction, right? Yeah. When I was a teenager. Yeah. Now I am hyper aware as a parent, you know, like with my kids’ phones and, and oh yeah. My oldest just got her phone like a year ago. She’s 14, 15. Yeah, we homeschool, so we don’t, we told ’em, look, you, what do you need it for?

[00:36:39] Everybody gonna call us in the house, you know, who are you calling? You know, but like, but they know, and like, I’ll grab the phone like, I’m checking your device. Yeah. I’m holding you accountable. Yeah. And so my experience as a teenager falling into addiction has greatly impacted Yeah. The way that I father, you know, and the way that I parent.

[00:36:59] And so I’d just be curious what. Maybe of your past and what you’ve been through has impacted the way that you, you parent your kids today. Yeah, I, I was, I was sitting here thinking when you were saying that I, I’m a little bit older than you and, um, the internet didn’t get popular until like I was outta school.

[00:37:17] Like, so 98, like I graduated in 1998, so I am, you know, dial up, uh, internet, a OL, all those. You’ve got mail. Yeah. Instant. Messaging like that was all right when I graduated. Right? Yeah. And so I didn’t have to deal with pornography in that sense, right? Like mine was, I always tell people all the time, like I had to be brave enough to go up to the seven 11 counter with the old lady working behind it and has a smoker cough and ask her for the, ask her for the Hustler Magazine behind the behind the counter.

[00:37:48] But we need to bring that kind of shame back, you know, because like. It would make it less like it was, right? Yeah. Right. That’s healthy. Yeah. It was though, like go looking it up on your phone, like sitting [00:38:00] in your bedroom like our kids now we talked about, right? Yeah. And so, um, mine, so I. I had to, like, my wife’s really good at that.

[00:38:09] Like she’s, she’s the lockdown queen of, of our kids’ phones. Like, I mean, and, and even as a Christian parent raising kids, we find ourselves that like even you could put all the stuff on it and do everything you do. If you put your guard down, the enemy’s going to be there to make sure your kids get.

[00:38:29] Caught up in that pornography and all kinds of stuff. So it’s so important for parents these days to have a lockdown on all their devices and not just think, well, we’re doing all we can do. You know, we’re going to church, we’re, we’re, they’re good kids and they are good kids. Right. But temptation is temptation.

[00:38:46] Yeah. And so if, if you would’ve gave me as a teenage boy, like access to just like. The VHS pornography tapes. Yeah. I would’ve been watching them. Right. And so it’s the same way when you, we give ’em access with these telephones, like they have access to all that. So yeah, my parents, you know, God bless ’em.

[00:39:03] They didn’t know. Yeah, no, nobody knew. It was all brand new at that point. And, and I was left up there with a lot of time. Right. And took about four and a half minutes to download a picture, which kind of killed the buzz of the whole thing. You know, you’re sitting there waiting, catching a little piece of at a time, but like, you know, it is what it is.

[00:39:20] Yeah. I mean, that. That’s, it’s funny. Um, yeah. So kind of transitioning from that man to, you know, parenting fathering, you know, whatnot to like recent years. Yeah. Like deciding to take on the easy task of running for school board as a conservative, um, like. Yeah. Why? Yeah. Yeah. It’s, you told me, we were on a phone conversation a couple weeks ago.

[00:39:47] You were like, uh, you know, you must be a glutton for, for just a beating, you know, uh, you’re a pastor. Then you wanted to jump into the political realm and school board, and, uh, I [00:40:00] did it. I, I had thought about running for school board a couple of years before I actually did, and safety had always been my like, big.

[00:40:10] Concern. Mm-hmm. And it still is like, you know, you see all these school shootings that are happening throughout the nation. And I am, I got into law enforcement because I wanted to be a school resource officer. I wanted to protect the kids. I wanted to be that good example. Like what was good for the poor kid was good for the rich kid.

[00:40:27] Yeah. When I was a law enforcement officer, I played hacky sack with the hippies and I talked with the jocks. You know, I mean, it was, I didn’t, I didn’t judge the rich or the poor. It was. They were gonna be the same because I had been judged. Right. I was, I didn’t know how those kids were gonna turn out. So I never judged the kids like by their parents, the family they came from or anything like that, because God had done that in my life.

[00:40:51] Mm-hmm. Like, he brought me from the gutters and what enabled me to live a good life. Yeah. And so I, you never know as a teenager, like where God’s gonna bring. One of these kids, right? Mm-hmm. So, so anyway, like I had this passion for public safety and I am one of the school board members when I used to listen to Rush Limbaugh all the time.

[00:41:11] I don’t know if you ever listened to him. Yeah. So, you know, rush Limbaugh for like 20 years. I listened to him and he make, he made me laugh. He made me, uh, cry. There were so many things that I, that I loved about Rush Limbaugh and when he passed away, one of our school board members, um, called him an evil peace and affection.

[00:41:32] And when I heard him say that, like it just went through me. Yeah. And I, and. I remember when Rush died. I came home that night. My wife was fixing supper. She asked me to go outside and get some groceries outta the car. I went out there and I’m thinking about Rush and I’m, I’m crying when I’m coming back in and I tell my wife, I’m like, is it, is it weird for a grown man who never met.

[00:41:55] Another man to be crying over his death. And I thought to [00:42:00] myself, I was like, no, I, I met Rush, like he made me laugh three hours a day. He, he made me think, yeah, at times I did cry when I listened to him. And um, so when I heard. Th that school board members say that. I was like, I’m going to a school board meeting.

[00:42:15] And so that was my first, that was my first like, jumping right into it. And then, you know, we had 2020 with, with, with all the masking. Yeah. And with all the, the, the stuff that we were seeing through CRT and people can say what they want to, uh, there are people out there wanting to push that agenda onto our kids and.

[00:42:37] Uh, I just became very aware of what was happening and I was like, I gotta do something. Yeah. And that’s what really thrusted me into, um, this public life of wanting to be a school board member. And it’s not glamorous at all, but it, it’s been, it’s been a calling Yeah. That God called me to do. Yeah. And you, I mean, you hear the threat through your whole story, right?

[00:42:59] Yeah. I I wanna help others. Yeah. And that, that drive, right? Yeah. And I think, I think so often, like I, I told somebody along yesterday, I was talking about this, like, I, addiction, I. Regardless of what root is causing, it becomes a very self selfish behavior. Mm-hmm. It’s like, I need to numb, I gotta, I, I don’t want to feel, you know, I’m going to get the next time.

[00:43:24] I mean, there are so many ways that you can crack this thing, and one of the things that I’ve, I’ve always been. Fascinated by is how like, well, the antidote to selfishness is selflessness. Right? Right. They’re opposites of one another. Right. And I think that if people can kind of get ahold of this, you’re hearing the thread like, I’m, I’m just, I’m okay.

[00:43:45] God, I’m throwing myself all into your purposes. Yeah. And if that takes me to the jail. Takes me to the jail. Yep. Takes me on the road writing traffic tickets. I’m gonna do that. You know, I’m associate pastor, I’m gonna do that. Yeah. And now the school board, which is like, [00:44:00] like you better hear from God. Yeah.

[00:44:04] You know, ’cause it’s not, it’s politics are so polarized now. Yeah. Like you, a local school board race or being passionate about family values. Yeah. Or you know. Wanting to call a man, A man, and a woman. A woman, right. Like is controversial. Yeah. You know, and these are the things that we’re like, and we’re in the middle of all this trying to raise our children too.

[00:44:25] Yeah. You know, and, and it is, it is interesting. Like I’m, I’m serving, you know, and I’m, I’m trying to be that voice, even the one story. Oh, you’re the guy that’s never gonna make it. Yeah. I’m gonna try to be that voice. Yeah. So no other kid asked to hear that. Yeah. And so what do you, so if there’s any one thing, and I know this is probably a loaded question, but if there’s any one thing that you hope to kind of teach others, like through your different leadership roles, like is there a recurring theme?

[00:44:53] Recurring thread, you know, and that. That you really want, you know, this is the message, you know, I want people to get from that cross. Yeah. What, what is that? I want, I want people to know this one thing about me, and that’s second Corinthians five 17, that if any man or woman be in Christ, they’re made a new creature.

[00:45:09] Yeah. That the old things pass away and behold all things become new. That’s what I want them to know. I want them to know that it doesn’t matter what they were born into, it doesn’t matter what they’ve gone through. Mm-hmm. It doesn’t matter how far they’ve sinned. Or what’s happened to them, whether they grew up rich or poor, whether they have a education or not, that if God calls you to do something, he’ll give you the ability to do it.

[00:45:35] Yeah, and that’s really my, my, my message that I, I hope people see from me. You know, I. Here I am sitting on a educational board. I have an associate degree in biblical studies. Uh, I didn’t go off to college. I don’t have a bachelor degree or anything like that. Right. But I’m the chairman of the board now of a place over 11,000 kids, [00:46:00] over over 2000 employees.

[00:46:02] And we’re, I’m sitting here as the chairman on this board where I was looked to when I was a teenager for one of the administrators that said, I’ve seen kids like you and I know how they turn out. Yeah. And whether, I don’t, I don’t put no judgment on on that guy for saying that, but he couldn’t see what God saw in me.

[00:46:21] Yeah. And that’s really what I want to want people to see is like you don’t have no idea like what God wants to do in your life. Yeah. And I, if I, when I, when I look back to 19-year-old Matt Cross, if you would’ve told me that I would’ve became a police officer, I would’ve laughed number one. Mm. If you would’ve told me I was, would’ve been, been gotten married and been married Now for going on 25 years, I would’ve laughed.

[00:46:51] Right. And if you told me I was, uh, I became a father of three. I would’ve been like, no way. Yeah. Like, because the only thing I ever saw good in my life was destruction. And that’s really the what I saw before I met Christ. And that’s why I was like, God, if anyone can save me, it has to be you and I don’t wanna be like these other.

[00:47:12] Christians that I saw in my past that like, were living a double life. Yeah. That’s why I threw myself at God and I was like, God, if I’m gonna do this, like I’m gonna do it. Yeah. That’s so good. And so that it was easy for me to like. I say easy, but it was easy for me to walk away from, you know, the meth, the coke, um, the alcohol, like I, and I was an alcoholic man before I graduated.

[00:47:35] I was, I was an alcoholic, uh, but I started smoking cigarettes when I was 12. And that was the hardest thing for me to quit was the, the tobacco and smoking. And I remember being at. Church service on a Wednesday night. And I remember Jesus walking me through like, you know, Hey, the cigarettes aren’t gonna take you to hell, but you’re gonna smell like it before you get there.

[00:47:56] Right. You know, or you’re gonna smell like hell as you walk on earth. [00:48:00] Right. And then, and so I remember it was like, God, I, I, I wanna quit this. I’d, I’d, I’d wrinkle ’em up. I’d, I’d throw ’em away. I’d get ’em back out. ’cause I couldn’t afford another pack at the time and put ’em back together. That’s funny. And so I, I remember Wednesday night service, though.

[00:48:15] I was at church and Pastor Dan said, uh, I think there, I, I believe there are people here that had, you know, want to quit. Uh, smoking tonight. God wants to set you free. Well, that was me. Yeah. It was me and another lady that came down and he laid his hands on me that night and prayed, and that was, I have not smoked a cigarette since.

[00:48:34] That was, that was it. That’s what it took. It took me being in the presence of God, giving God my Yes. Yeah. And saying, God, here I am. I’ve. I tried, I failed. I tried, I failed, and I just kept coming. Yeah. And I kept pursuing him and eventually he took it from me. Yeah. And so like there’s, I tell people all the time, like, I smell cigarette smoke once in a while, and man, it smells good sometimes.

[00:48:56] Right, right. Yeah. Sometimes it smells awful, you know? But sometimes I couldn’t imagine the buzz I’d give him smoke a cigarette at this point in my life. Oh my gosh. Yeah. But I, I think about like, you know, God, God delivered me from that. Yeah. So I’m not gonna go back to it. So Matt, I’m 19. I’m, um, I’m in the middle of, of, of an addiction.

[00:49:17] You know, I, I maybe don’t have any positive voices speaking into my life. Um, kind of feel stuck, you know, isolated. Nobody really understands what I’m going through or really cares about my future, you know, what do you say to me to help me get started? Yeah. Like, what are you speaking to that type of situation.

[00:49:38] I’d, I’d, I’d speak it to your life and say you, you have. No idea. Like the seed that God has inside your life. Mm-hmm. And if you allow God to water that seed through his Holy Spirit, if you’ll surrender yourself to him like it, it’s not gonna be easy. Yeah. Like I tell people all the time, like walking with Christ, it’s [00:50:00] it, he calls us to be soldiers.

[00:50:02] Mm-hmm. And so I’m not gonna tell you this’s gonna be easy. You know, I’m not going to give you, you know, a little speech talk, like it’s, you gonna be okay. You’re gonna go through some rough times. Yeah. You’re gonna have to make some hard decisions. You’re, you’re gonna have to grow up and, and be the big boy or big girl now and say, you know what, I, I gotta take care of me before I can help anyone else.

[00:50:24] Yeah. And so I’ve gotta throw, I would, I would encourage, like I said earlier, throw yourself on God. Yeah. Like if you will throw yourself on God. Like I, I preach this past weekend on Jacob and Esau and that story where Jacob, like he was, his name means trickery. Right? Right. He, he, he could trick himself. He could do, he could talk himself outta different areas and, and into different situations.

[00:50:47] He could talk himself out of those things, but in the time when he’s like, man, I need God. He threw himself on God. Yeah. And he, he wrestled with God, the Bible says, and he and God’s like, Hey, let me go. And he’s like, I’m not letting you go until you bless me. Yeah. Like, if you’ll do that, if you’ll throw yourself on God and be like, God, I’m not letting you go.

[00:51:07] Mm-hmm. Until you bless me. Yeah. That’s so good. You have no idea the heights. Hmm. And even depths that Christ will take you if you’ll trust him. Yeah. And so that would be my like speech to a 19-year-old, even to 20-year-old or a 30-year-old. Be like, bro, like now’s the time if you’ll throw yourself on God.

[00:51:29] Yeah. Just the Bible says, test me. Yeah. You know, and I, and I think that a lot of times that we won’t, we don’t test him. We don’t have that cry like the Apostle Paul that says, oh, that I may know you, you gotta hear like that groaning inside Paul. Yeah. Like, oh, that I may know you. And in the power of your resurrection.

[00:51:47] Right. And so. If you, the, the rest of that verse is in that I, and that I may, uh, also suffer with you. Right? Yeah. And so we can’t leave out that part. Yeah. Because when you serve [00:52:00] the Lord, truly, you know, he ca he calls us to pick up the cross at all costs. And if that means suffering with him, that’s what we do.

[00:52:08] Yeah. And so I But the life of suffering that you’ll serve with Christ will be a. A thousand times better than you being selfish and serving yourself. Yeah, man, I, I think, um, I think the suffering that I went through as an addict prepared me. Yeah. Like, you know, ’cause I did the methane and the detox and up and down needles, all that jazz.

[00:52:30] I mean, that was my life story and that history, man. But like, like, I mean, we’ve been through some hard times, you know, I’ve had some experiences similar to what you talk about, the anxiety and panic attacks and all that. But it’s just like, um. I, I’ve always been intentional about remembering how bad it was Yeah.

[00:52:47] Back then. Yeah. Yeah. And, and you know, I’ve, yeah. I always, it’s always a frame of reference. Yeah. You know, and so I think that like. The people listen, like you’re already suffering. Yeah. If you’re trapped in this addiction. Yeah. Like, and so there’s only upside. Yeah. You know, and it’s, man, it, it’s so good, man.

[00:53:08] I, um, I appreciate you opening up and sharing and, um, yeah, you’re welcome. Just, uh, yeah, as we wrap up, so. How can somebody either connect with you with Pat Church? I know, yeah, I know. Um, you’ve got some various social media stuff out there and whatnot, man. But, um, how can somebody connect with you? Yeah, I easily, if you, if you, if you friend me on Facebook and, uh, Matt Cross, I.

[00:53:33] Or if you go to our church Facebook page at Path Church, Harrisonburg, Virginia, you’ll be able to connect with us there. Sunday mornings we’re, we’re here service at 10:00 AM and we also have a small gathering on Wednesday nights, the Bible study. It’s really good, man. We sat there Justin last night, you know, and, and.

[00:53:55] Talked with a circle of 20, 25 people, uh, of what [00:54:00] we were thankful for. Yeah. And to hear so many people that I’ve served the Lord with over the last 24 years of my life. Talk about how, like I’m thankful for this body. Mm-hmm. Like we’re family. Yeah, that’s good. And to, to hear that and to be a part of that, it was like, man, it’s really cool because if I wouldn’t lay down my life and be a servant Yeah.

[00:54:22] Like I would’ve never had the opportunity to connect with other people that I never would’ve connected with before. Yeah. You know, and I think that’s what God uses the church to do, is to connect you with people that you would’ve never ran with before. Yeah. Like he gets you out of your own little cliques.

[00:54:36] So true. Yeah. And he is like, Hey, I’m, you’re gonna serve this old lady. Yeah. You’re gonna serve, you’re gonna serve over here in, in, in Central America where you don’t even know their language. Yeah. You know, and you’re gonna be, you’re gonna do all the, you’re gonna sit on a school board where you don’t even have the education.

[00:54:52] Yeah. Yeah. That’s incredible. I mean, since all these, all these things that, you know, God takes the foolish things of the world to confound the wise. Yeah. That’s so good. And I’ve lived that and walked through it. But anyway, you could connect with me and on, on any of those levels, reach out and box me, you know?

[00:55:09] But I, I’d love to, to, to get to know you and, and be able to walk Christ with you. Yeah. Amen. So do they have any plans locally of allowing our homeschool kids to participate in sports yet, or. Or at least giving me my tax dollars back in the meantime. Oh man, you to bury me right now with that question.

[00:55:26] I’m just messing with you. They already called me a disruptor. They would think that I wanna come in and, uh, tear down the public education system, but I am a hundred percent for tax dollars. Following your, your kids, right? Yeah. So I, I, I think that that’s the best thing that we could do. Like you, your choice with your kid on what you believe is their best educational path.

[00:55:47] Yeah. That’s where your tax dollars should be going. That’s a big conversation right now. We’ll see. We’ll see what happens. We’ll see what happens there. The Department of Education even exists anymore, right? Yes. Yeah. Okay. I probably shouldn’t have said that out loud, but, but yeah man. Well, I appreciate it and [00:56:00] thanks.

[00:56:00] Thanks, man. It’s so good to sit down and chat. Yeah. And on. Even we’ve known each other for a long time to hear pieces of your story Yeah. That I, um, I haven’t heard before. And, uh, it’s, it’s awesome. I appreciate you opening up and Yeah. You know, a lot of people, I think run from their recovery journey, their backstory.

[00:56:15] Right. You know, it’s like, you know, and, and I understand the why behind it, but like, I, I think that man, more people sharing like. It just encourages folks to know they’re not alone. Right. In this journey. And then like, man, there’s life on the other side of this. Yes. Right. Yeah. And uh, that’s been the drive.

[00:56:35] I, I think, I think that’s true too. And, and when we don’t, when we’re as Christians, when we don’t allow ourselves to open up and show our vulnerability and even share a path that people only see, like they only see the good things. Like they, they see the Met crossing the pulpit. Right. Right. They see the guy up there preaching with the anointing on him, and they see the pastor Justin that’s preaching on Sunday morning that’s strong and full of the word and everything else.

[00:56:59] Very DH, ADHD all over the place. But yeah, they, they what? They see the GL side of it, right? They see the, they see the good side. Pastor Dan taught me how to chase squirrels and I’ve chasing him ever since, buddy. So, so, yeah. Oh no. But they, but they see the good things in our life, but they, a lot of times if you don’t open up, you’ll be like, nah.

[00:57:18] I’ve got these scars, man. Yes. You know, I, this is, this is who I am. And you know, even today, like if I, if I allow myself, if I don’t pursue after God, man, there’s, there’s that flesh side of me that’s, that will get outta control. Yeah. And I, I’ve got to continually to crucify that flesh and say, God, I, I wanna, now, I’m at the point now, I’m, I don’t know, I’m 20, I’m, I am.

[00:57:46] At least 25, 26, 26, 27 years into serving the Lord. And now I’m on this halfway point of saying, God, now I want to finish it. Yeah, like now, like [00:58:00] I want to intentionally, I. Serve you and seek you and be very intentional. ’cause I don’t know how many days I have left. Right. But I wanna finish what you began and I don’t wanna fall.

[00:58:11] I don’t wanna become a castaway, as Paul said, like after I’ve done all these things. Yeah. After I’ve, I’ve. Been through all this stuff, like, I don’t wanna be for nothing now I wanna finish. Well, yeah. And so now I, I appreciate you, pastor for, for having me on. Yeah. And I, I’ve also so much appreciated you throughout the years and the work that you do with Teen Challenge and, uh, and helping others, man, you have literally changed the lives of thousands of people and it’s hard to tell how many people that they’ll touch.

[00:58:44] Yeah. That it’ll have an impact. Going so I just encourage you and Ashley and the family to Yeah. Keep running hard after him. And I appreciate you. I have a lot of respect for you. I appreciate that. And the work that you do. And I, you’re, you’re just getting started, brother. Yeah. I really believe that you’re getting this started.

[00:58:59] I hear that. I tell people all the time, man, like, I’m not, man, the only reason I’m here and where I’m at is ’cause. Somebody told me a long time ago, God, I’ve had a plan for my life. Yeah. And I’ve been foolish enough to believe it ever since, you know? And that’s, I love it. That’s really what it boils down to.

[00:59:14] And man, thank you guys for watching on. I’m gonna drop the links for, um, pastor Matts on contact, the Church, everything in the description. Um, please, if you got any feedback, any questions, don’t hesitate to drop a comment. Hit the like button, subscribe all the fun YouTube stuff. And thank you guys for tuning in to Rebuilding Life After Addiction.

[00:59:32] If you need help, also shout it. Valley Teen Challenge Link is in the description. You can click the button down there and um, fill a form out and we’ll get back in touch with you and get you pointed in the right direction so you can get some help. God bless you guys.