How to Feel Forgiven When You Don’t Feel Forgiven

Exhausted By Earning

Justin: Let me guess, you've been sober for eight months, maybe a year, 18 months, and you're doing everything right. You're hitting meetings, you're working the steps, you're reading your Bible, you're praying, and you're exhausted. Because deep down, you're still trying to pay God back. You've been clean long enough that people are proud of you, but you don't feel proud. You actually feel like you're on probation. You're one bad day from God changing his mind about you. And here's the thing that nobody's telling you your apology sucks. And God rejected it. Not because he's cruel, but because you're trying to negotiate a payment plan with somebody that's offering you a pardon. I'm Justin Franage, and if you're stuck in that exhausting cycle of trying to earn back what you think you lost, this video is going to help rewire how you see grace.

The Prodigal Son Reframed

Justin: Let's go. There's a story that Jesus told that most of us know, but almost nobody truly understands it when they're early in recovery. It's the prodigal son, and it's found in Luke chapter 15. We love the story because it's about a screw up who came home. And if you're in recovery, you're that screw up. You've blown it, you've wasted years, you hurt people, and now you're trying to come home. But here's what we miss in this story. The father interrupted the apology. This kid had a whole speech prepared. He said, Father, I've sinned against heaven and against you. I'm not worthy to be called a son. Make me like a hired servant. It's not really an apology, it's a negotiation. What he's saying is, I know I can't be a son anymore. Make me like a hired servant. Let me work off the debt. Let me earn my way back into the house. And the father, he cuts them off cold. He doesn't let them finish because, see, grace can't be earned. It can only be received. And that's the thing that's killing you right now. You're trying to finish the apology speech, and God keeps interrupting you. Let me try to describe

Pressure, Debt, And Transaction Thinking

Justin: your inner life right now. You wake up and the first thing you feel is pressure. Not the pressure over hangover or withdrawal or even cravings. That's gone. This is different. It's the pressure of owing. You feel like you owe God for not using yesterday. You feel like you owe your family for all the time that you stole. You feel like you owe your sponsor or your mentor for their time. And then you feel like you owe the people at the church for accepting you because you're one of those people. So you do all the things. You white knuckle through the day, you pray, but it feels like filing a report. You read the Bible, but you're really just checking a box so that God doesn't audit your day. And at night, you collapse into bed thinking, maybe

Servant Mindset Versus Sonship

Justin: tomorrow I'll feel like I paid enough. But you never do because you're operating in a transactional framework and God is operating in a covenantial framework. See, transaction says, I screwed up. I owe you. Let me work it off. Covenant says, You're my child. Welcome home. Here's your robe. See, you're trying to be a servant while God is trying to make you a son. And that's why you're exhausted. You're playing the wrong game. So why did the father interrupt the son? Because while the apology was theologically accurate, it was relationally insulting. He was right that he had sinned. He was right that he wasn't worthy. But he was wrong about what the father wanted from him. The father wasn't looking for a hired servant. He wanted his son back. And when you downgrade yourself to servant status, you're not being

Practicing Receiving Grace

Justin: humble. You're rejecting the relationship that God is offering you. Let me say that again. When you refuse to accept full sonship because you don't deserve it, you're not being humble. You're being stubborn. You're saying, I know you say that I'm forgiving, but I'm going to keep living like I'm not because it feels more fair to me. And I get it, I really do. Grace feels illegal. It almost feels like you're getting away with something. It feels like if you fully accept it, you're minimizing what you did. But here's the truth: Grace doesn't minimize your sin. Grace maximizes the love of God. See the robe, the ring, the sandals, and the fatted calf? That's not the father pretending the son didn't blow it. That's the father saying, I know exactly what you did. And I'm throwing a party anyways because you're home. So what do you do with this? How do you stop living like a servant and start living like a son? First, stop trying to finish your apology speech. God heard you the first time. He knows what you did. He's not asking you to keep rehearsing it. When you catch yourself mentally listing all the reasons that you're disqualified, that's you trying to be the prodigal again. Stop mid-sentence. God's already interrupted you once. Secondly, I want you to start practicing receiving rather than negotiating. And if it helps, every morning, before you say anything else, I want you to say this out loud. I'm not a servant earning my keep. I'm a son receiving my inheritance. Today I will live from acceptance, not for acceptance. This isn't you psyching yourself up and trying to do some weird motivational routine that we've all seen on TikTok. This is you reminding yourself of the legal reality of your status before God. Son, not slave. Because here's what changes everything. Your status before God isn't based on your recent performance. It's based on Christ's finished performance. The robe that you're wearing, it isn't a robe that you get because you stayed clean for 365 days. It's not another chip. It's the robe of Christ's righteousness. And the Father put it on you the minute that you returned home. See, that's justification and that's doctrine that you need to feel, not just know intellectually. See, you aren't on probation, you're not a servant, you're not paying off a debt, you're a son,

Justification And New Status

Justin: you're fully reinstated, you're fully loved, and you're fully accepted. And hear me on this: it's not because of what you're doing now, it's because of what Jesus already did. Look, I know this is all hard to accept because if this was easy, you wouldn't feel exhausted right now. But here's what I want you to understand: the exhaustion is the warning light. It's your soul telling you that this isn't working. I can't keep trying to be good enough. And you're right, you can't. But that's the beauty of this story. You don't have to. The father interrupted the son's apology because the apology was never the point coming home was. And you're home. So stop trying to pay rent in your father's house. This video is one of a seven-part series we put together. We walk through the robe, the ring, the sandals, those three gifts that the father gave the prodigal son, and how they unlock

Freedom, Series Preview, Next Steps

Justin: the freedom that you've been craving. In the next video, The Real Reason You Can't Accept Forgiveness, we talk through the psychological block that's keeping you stuck. Even when you intellectually believe everything that I just said to you, you can watch that video by clicking here. And if this landed for you, drop a comment. Tell me what's one thing that you've been trying to earn back in your recovery. Let's talk about it, and I'll see you in the next one.