A Prayer for Peace of Mind When You Can't Sleep

The Mother of All Joy

Psalm 51:12
"Restore to me the joy of your salvation, and uphold me with a willing spirit."

David Wilkerson said something that rewired how I think about repentance: "We see repentance wrong. We see it as a sorrowful experience. But the reality is that repentance is the mother of all joy."

The mother of all joy. Not the thief of it. The source.

We've been sold a version of repentance that feels like punishment. Like God is disappointed in us and now we have to feel appropriately bad for long enough to earn our way back into his good graces. Repentance as penance.

Repentance as weight.

But that's guilt. And guilt is a different thing entirely.

Here's the difference I've noticed in my own life: Repentance removes weight. Guilt adds it.

When I repent, I come in carrying something heavy. I acknowledge it. I lay it down. And I walk away lighter. The weight transfers. That's the whole point.
When I live in guilt, my acknowledgment of sin makes the weight heavier. I carry it around. I rehearse it. I let it define me. I never actually set it down. The weight stays mine.

David knew this. After the disaster with Bathsheba and the murder cover-up, he lost his joy. Not because God was withholding it. Because unconfessed sin is heavy, and you can't carry that and joy at the same time.

So he prayed: "Create in me a clean heart, O God. Renew a right spirit within me. Cast me not away from your presence. Take not your Holy Spirit from me. Restore to me the joy of your salvation."

Restore. It was there before. It can be there again. Repentance is the door back to it.

If you've been walking around joyless, the answer might not be to try harder or fake it better. The answer might be to lay something down.

What weight are you carrying that was never yours to keep?

Joy is on the other side of letting go.