How Porn Creates Strongholds (And How to Break Them)

7 years old. So I was in a neighborhood, good neighborhood, parents that try to do the right thing, try to protect me. Put in a video. Hey, check this out. Completely clueless. 7 years old. And I remember that when I saw these images, something spiritual happened. I just felt this p these hooks in my flesh pulling me back. And I hear a voice saying, "See, you'll never be free." From seven to 19, like strongholds aren't developed overnight. There's the kingdom of light and then there's the kingdom of darkness. They're both planting seeds. I'm 2 weeks clean or I'm one month clean. But what the enemy does, he's very cunning. He lays dormant for a season. And the house is neat and swept in an order and there's nothing put in to replace. More demons come in. He was [music] so fried in his brain with his dopamine and all that stuff that's [music] going on. He couldn't even a few questions. something that I've been pondering in second Corinthians where it talks about how our weapons of warfare are not carnal but mighty through God to the pulling down of strongholds. And so when you were dealing with this corn issue and having just this stronghold in your mind, like what was it like prior and what was your mindset today now that you've been set free? Yeah, it's it's a really powerful testimony. I think a lot of us can attest to what that transformation happening. So for me the reality that I began to see was how much unbelief has a play in all of this. How did this door open? Yeah. In your life, when did it become start? Seven years old. So, I was in a neighborhood, good neighborhood, parents to try to do the right thing, try to protect me. but the enemy hates innocence and the enemy hates children. And a neighborhood boy, two years older, he invited me into his house, didn't know what I was walking into, and he put in a video. Hey, check this out. Completely clueless, seven years old. And I remember that when I saw these images, something spiritual happened. I was not even saved. I was 7 years old. But something dark. I remember it. It was it was an inexplicable presence that suddenly this isn't just, we're not just living in a materialistic world. world. world. There's a spiritual component here. And many times I'll honor, there's a reality of addiction and the physical component of what it does to the brain. the dopamine, all that stuff, but there's a spiritual component and we cannot underestimate that. And that's what happened. Something dark entered me and I immediately went to my parents and that's I didn't I don't remember that detail but they filled me in later. But from that day forward, something had gripped my flesh and there was a door that had opened up. And so I began to compromise from there on out. From seven to 19, like strongholds aren't developed overnight, right? It's I think there's a process where this stuff take me from the I saw the thing I saw the video with a buddy at seven years old not even really knowing what I saw to 19year-old having dreams finally realizing that I'm free right what was that like what was that deepening of that process like yeah it's it's connected to feeding the addiction it's the thoughts that keep on replaying And that's what it is, right? that was one of the revelations that I had that the lamp of the body is the eye and how even scientifically know they can prove that, the optic nerve goes directly to the brain. It's a very the these are literally the two gateways and as a man thinks in his heart, that's who he is. So, I just kept feeding it and and I would make promises to God. this sound familiar? Come on. and I'll stop doing it and then I would have like a two week even a month even a three month victory baby victory [laughter] and but yet to your point Justin just felt this p these hooks in my flesh pulling me back and so there is a to your point there's a false hope you can have and then there's this solid hope where that because why because it's not rooted in your faith it's rooted in the word of God Yeah, by disbelieving it [snorts] really keeps you in that place of bondage and that's where the enemy wants you, like you. So I'll give you part of my testimony that regard. I grew up and I had some good godly men around me and I brought this issue up and I really got a lot of responses that were like you'll never really get free from this and that's just disbelief. So very discouraging and and so I respected them, but they're like this is going to be your you're going to succumb to this probably for the rest of your life off and on. There's something deep in me and I was the grace of God. I'm sure it was people praying for me, my parents being probably the first ones that it didn't settle in me. I was "No, there's God. I can't live like this. I can't live with this yoke on my shoulder, feeling condemned in my thoughts. thoughts. thoughts. Surely, this is not the victorious life that Jesus came to bring me. I feel miserable. I feel like I'm walking around just with just getting hammered. And and so that was something that really began to have me cry out to God, say, "Lord, there's got to be a way. I and I can't live like this any, for the rest of my life." So that was the first thing was the discontent. It was like this thing that moved me to not just accept that this is what it is, but to say no, there's got to be something. So I actually wasn't really taught about fasting, but I was by the grace of God moved that way to begin to fast. And as I fasted, the Lord began to work in my heart. And he also sent me some good brothers. brothers. brothers. And we [clears throat] that came a little bit, but God began to use brothers in my life that were really seeking God and going hard after the Lord. But the thing that really transformed was as I was fasting, the Lord finally got through. I tell people, listen, if God can get through my head, he can get through anybody's head. sometimes it's like he needs I feel like a 2x4, that need needed cuz I got a big head, bro. So I understand, understand, understand, bro. I heard the Lord finally get through to me. He [clears throat] was speaking, but I finally listened. And he said very clearly, he said, "If you will shut off these things that are feeding your flesh and he began to reveal to me not just the obvious things like the explicit, but even the things that the doors that open it. So like even PG-13, anything PG, anything that is sensual that is provoking you even to think the next step, you need to cut it off. That's for me. Now I know that some people, like whatever addiction people are dealing with, they other people not might struggle with that as much. They might say, well, I can drink a glass of wine at night, right? But if this is something that is you can't have anything, right? that's how it was for me. I there's there's no room for this cuz I'm already knowing what a stronghold this is in my life. And so through fasting, I heard the Lord say, "Cut off everything." And he began to reveal to me these compromises, these movies that were acceptable, that were not acceptable to him and were opening the door. So that was the first thing. Then he said to me very clearly, he said, "If you will memorize my word," he said, "I will replace these thoughts and I will and take these thoughts out and I'll replace it with my voice." And [snorts] I remember my immediate response to him when I heard him say that was,"Lord, I'm not a good memorizer. I'm not a good student." And I did. I struggled through school. And I immediately heard the Lord say to me. "What I have commanded you to do, I'll give you the grace to do it." Wow. Wow. Wow. And a lot of people don't realize that grace in the Bible is not just for salvation. We think about Ephesians 2:8:9, "For by grace are we saved through faith, but the other way that it's used in the Bible is actually empowerment." empowerment." empowerment." and that's the grace that the grace also empowers us. Paul said I worked harder than all the other apostles yet not I but the grace of God in me. the grace of God is sufficient. Paul is saying Lord remove this thorn and Scott says my grace is sufficient. In other words, my grace will empower you to be able to and so that grace came the grace of God came. And anyways, anyways, anyways, I when he said that to me, it was like no more excuses. So Wade, fast forward, you've surrendered now your life to Christ, whom the sun sets free, is free indeed, but yet you're still bound to this very addiction. Yeah. What was the lies that you were believing about yourself and the enemy was pouring into your ears that caused you to grip to or hold on to rather than the truth of God's word in that moment? Right. Because I think that's what has happened for even me personally in my own life where I've chosen to believe the lie rather than behold the truth. Right. Right. Right. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. and I think the thing is that what we behold is who we become. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And often at times we choose to behold the lie rather than beholding the truth. And so for you in your life like what would you say has shifted? Like I really believe that it's not the act, it's the thought process as we've mentioned that causes the act that keeps people bound in this addiction. Because we have to admit, right? It's if you look at it, it's oh, cool. I looked at it, but you thought about it before you did it, right? And so like just before God thought and spoke these things into existence, it's it's the same way that we work as individuals and human beings, right? It's our mind, will and emotions, right? And so like often at times I'm strayed away to doing such things because of my own lustful desires and I'm enticed by those things rather than being moved by the, the will of God. And so I really if you can touch on that just a little bit. Yeah. So more of the root than the fruit. What's the root? And so I think for me getting back to just touch on what transformed me was that issue. we talk about the word repentance. We know it's connected to a sorrow, godly sorrow, release of repentance. repentance. repentance. But the word, as you guys know, it means a change of the mind, right? right? right? And and so the truth of Romans 12 that we're not to be conformed to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of the mind that we can discern the good, acceptable, and the perfect will of God. So that when the Lord spoke to me about you need to memorize my word, I read it and I wasn't really discipled, but the Lord said memorize it. And that's why I made that excuse. And so I just want to encourage everyone out there that the word of God, to your point, you shall know the truth and the truth shall set you free. If we don't have the truth in us, John 17:17, Jesus says, "Father, sanctify them in your truth. Your word is truth." Right? Right? Right? And so for me, my testimony to encourage people is listen, if you ask God to help you to memorize, he'll do it. And for me, I remember my first verse I memorized was Proverbs 4:18. I was working construction at the time and I on my lunch break I pull out the an index card with the address on the front and the verse on the back and I kept on trying and trying struggling and after like 3 days whatever I finally memorized three or four days the path of the righteous is like the light of dawn that shines brighter and brighter until full day then I went to the next one that's and I tell people listen for me it was like around 30 verses like light came into my mind and I think that when the truth and the word there's another word that comes to my mind is that is you have faith right faith comes by hearing the word of God so faith rises up getting back to that unbelief saying you'll never be free faith combats that and the faith comes from the word but the other word that I would say is authority I always felt like I was always on that defensive position wow I hope it goes away wow all of a sudden it was like this authority rose me and I'm like because the truth was in you Yeah. And to and what you were quoting in the beginning, 2 Corinthians 10, the stronghold, and then verse 5, that we have the authority to bring every thought captive and make it obedient to Christ. That was the transformation for me. And I to be transparent, I'll just tell you my D-Day. so I was in college going to York College in Pennsylvania. and I was off campus and the Lord was freeing me with by memorizing the word that the lust was leaving my life. And I felt so free. I felt so good. I felt like joy finally. I felt like my mind's clear. I can hear the voice of God just like he promised me. And then [snorts] one night I had a vivid sexual dream, very vivid. And I woke up out of a dead sleep and I there was a presence in the room. This is off-campus housing. I have my own room. And I hear a voice saying, "See, you'll never be free." Wow. Wow. Wow. come on. How do you explain that? You have a dream. Did a video about that last night. Did you? Crazy. Crazy. Crazy. Yeah. And then you wake up and there's a presence in the room. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And you hear a voice saying, "See, you'll never be free." And I would say at that moment was the crossroads for my life. Because if I didn't have the word in my heart, I would tell people like in the day of battle, you can't say, "Hold on, let me go get my sword." it's like it's got to be like boom, right? Like Jesus in the wilderness. wilderness. wilderness. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It is written. And so when he came, I could have gone into unbelief. Oh, I'll never be. And but it's turned by the word and in my room, it like the spirit of God rose in me and I said out loud, I said, which God even caught me off guard. I was like amazed what I out of my mouth comes, "Devil, you tried, you couldn't tempt me into sin when I was in the day, so you came at night." And I said, "And you failed." I yelled it out. And all of a sudden the whole atmosphere of the room shifted. I felt like it was like boom. It just left. And I just felt all of a sudden the power and the presence of God come in the room. And it was like I could almost hear the father say, "Yes, son. You got it." Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And that was it. From that time forward, I was like a rocket like into the stratosphere and it was like I'm free. like he came to me in my subconscious and the Lord is sanctifying even that part of my mind. So what does a young man do that's struggling right now, right? So you got a guy, in that position on the other end of the camera right now, like I've grown up, I've heard all this stuff about purity culture on it's the women's fault they should dress differently. It's society's fault. It's YouTube's fault for putting all these videos. My algorithm, it just feeds me women all the time. So what does a young man do in today's culture like to be able to stay pure and not fall victim to this stuff? Yeah it's brother what you brought up you become what you behold. I think that there's got to be that intentionality to say I'm sick and tired of being sick and tired. And I think that's all of our testimonies. you have to assess the prodal came to his senses. I'm eating with pigs. This is not And I think another thing that Paul makes it very clear in Corinthians is there's a revelation of the brevity of my life. I'm gonna stand before the Lord. And that could be tomorrow. Do I really want this to be my destiny? And I heard from somebody who said so clearly, your thought life leads to your decisions. Your decisions lead to your habits. Your habits lead to your lifestyle. And your lifestyle leads to your destiny. Your destiny is connected to your thought life. So I've got to recognize that. And so I think first of all what we're doing, what you're doing, what you got brothers are doing is very important. We overcome the enemy. The Bible says in Revelation lamb, that's his accusations. He we silences the voices that say you're this and that and the other. No, I'm a new creation in Christ. Amen. Yeah. The second thing though is they overcame by the word of their testimony. My conviction is the word of the testimony release. It brings faith. And so it's a the weapon of the enemy is unbelief. This [snorts] is where I believe a lot of men stay. That's my testimony. You're staying in that place because of unbelief. You cannot conjure up faith. You've got to renew your mind through the word of God. And that is a that's a discipline. The Bible says in 1 Timothy 4:7, "Discipline yourself for the purpose of godliness." Yeah, Yeah, Yeah, it's hard. I'm sorry. The Bible says second Timothy 2 that Paul says, that to endure hardship as a good soldier of Jesus Christ. We're soldiers, man. and don't get entangled in the all day affairs, but your the aim of the enlisting officer is to please his the commanding officer who called him into battle or called him into the army. So [snorts] I think just to encourage people just listening to this podcast, my prayer is these testimonies will build your faith. that when you hear another brother say and let me give you a testimony in this. When God set me free, I was with a group of brothers. And there's a brother who you could have to testify to this experience that was in that room about six brothers. We were seeking God, okay? But God had set me free in this area of lust. I came in and I said to the brothers, "Bro," I said, "God set me free, man." And I knew it was free. We know what it's like to be free. I'm free. And I remember when I said that one brother in particular, awesome brother, he dropped to his knees right there. there. there. Wow. Wow. Wow. And he said, "I believe God. Do it in me." Wow. Wow. Wow. Okay. There was another brother when I said it, he looked at me like I had two heads. heads. heads. And then and one brother said, "I believe too." And when he looked at the brother who had a look of like his whole countenance changed and he was like who we are we fooling ourselves. So later on that brother who said got down on his knees he told me he said that when the brother that first believed and then disbelieved he called him on the phone later on the day he said brother I think we're fooling ourselves. You can't be really free from this. And to this brother's credit, who had a power a long wrap sheet of lust more than mine was. He put his hand on the phone. This is the old day before the cell phone. phone. phone. That was the mute button. That was the mute button. Y'all know about that. And he said, "I rebuke you, devil, in the name of Jesus Christ." Not to the guy, but to this, he knew that there's the voice of the enemy. And he said he said, "Brother, I can't talk to you right now. I'm going to pray for you." hung up the phone. This brother got on his knees, cried out to God, "Lord, set my brother free." He had just claimed birthday for himself just a few hours ago about 2 hours later after he prays, that other brother who's doubted call him back. Said, "Brother, I'm free. I feel it." it." it." Come on. Wow. after that prayer. So, let me just finish with this part of the testimony. Later to your point, he stayed true. A few days later, 3:00 in the morning, he gets awakened out of a dead sleep. Those who are listening, I pray you understand this is spiritual. You can't deny this dead sleep. He wakes up and he feels moved to go over to his balcony of his apartment. And under the lamp, middle of the night, under a light post, someone comes in and drops a stack [snorts] [snorts] [snorts] of corn under the light outside of his B. Doesn't know who this guy is. And then walks away [snorts] and he says, "I rebuke." it's like someone dropping a bunch of drugs on the doorstep. That's insane. And he and he says, "I rebuke you in the name of Jesus Christ." and he walked in free freedom. So my point is so much of that was connected to faith. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Just Jesus says all things are possible to those who believe. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And the enemy just comes and says you're never going to get free. And that's a lie. lie. lie. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Like you said, don't don't go under a lamp post, guys. guys. guys. You follow [laughter] I'm I'm not hurting anybody. Right. Right. Right. I'm just I watch my movies. I do my thing. what I'm saying? I'm not out sleeping prostitutes, whatever. what I'm saying? it's not hurting anybody, right? right? right? So, what's the danger, right, for a man with that mindset, right? right? right? they don't They see the stories on TV, like I just alluded to earlier, of the guy who's been hiding a secret for 30 years that's more grotesque than we could ever imagine. But in comparison, I'm really not that bad. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. What [clears throat] do you say to your young man caught up in that mindset that this is just I'm just attract I'm Here's the lie. I used to use the line I used to use all the time. I'm just admiring God's creation. Yeah. Come on. What's wrong with that? That was a big one. That was a big lie. Right. Yeah. I'm 50 years old. I've been around the block and I can tell you the truth of the scripture is there's a way that seems right to a man, but in the end it leads to death. In the Hebrew that word end is the word akarit which I learned from I didn't know the Hebrew the significance but to the Hebrew language is very visual. The word literally means back or end. You can't see the back of someone. I can only see the front of you. You have to get to get behind to see the back. And God's saying this is what the back is. This is the akarit. The devil never shows you the akarit. He only wants to show you the pretty part. And just like the beer ads where all the fit people on the beach drinking it up, that the enemy is not going to show the cerosis of the liver things is not like the other. Yes. The devil's not going to show you the broken marriages and the kids that are getting abused by an angry dad who's beating him cuz he's drunk. He doesn't want to show the same thing with this issue. The aarit is you're a slave [clears throat] and you think that the glory is going to honor that? No. The 1st Samuel 2:30 says, God says, "Those who honor me, I will honor them." I've seen too many marriages where the brothers think that they can bring that into their marriage and it's not going to impact them. I have testimonies that will break your heart. heart. heart. Yeah, I heard you share one of those one time. time. time. Break your heart. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That Why is this all this ED issues going on? Because they have so frayed and fried themselves. They can't that's they have to get a drug. But when you honor the Lord, the Lord honors you. And when you have a marriage that's built on what's right, it is God's design and it is beautiful and it is holy and it is fulfilling that it you will never find that in the devil's camp. And I want to say one more thing because what Justin said, I the issue of how our minds are programmed. programmed. programmed. This is so true, bro. And I'll be transparent. I think you heard his testimony, Justin. This is just one among many. I knew a brother. He hid the corn issue very well. And [snorts] he ended up getting finally got married to a beautiful young lady who had kept herself. herself. herself. And on their wedding night, he was so fried in his brain with his dopamine and all that stuff that's going on, he couldn't even [snorts] consummate the marriage without watching corn. And it devastated her. Can you imagine your wedding night? You've kept yourself and this guy can't even be aroused by me. He's got to look at this image in order to that. That's how bad it is. And his and the concept of [snorts] this is what it's supposed to look like. No, it's the opposite. And that's why one of my pet peeves is I don't like it when people overspiritualize a Song of Solomon. The Lord gave us that book to show what intimacy looks like in marriage. And so if people will study that book, they'll understand God's design with sex. And it's powerful. And it's the opposite of the world. The world, it's like this, it's like this. It moves to anger and violence and dominance and and like just aggressive behavior. Whereas a Song of Solomon, it's this gentleness. It is complimentary that you're complimenting your spouse's body and up and down and is building the security and my eyes are only for you and you're and all of a sudden you just see God just breathe life and bring. So I would just encourage, God can change your marriage. He can sh anyone's listening to this. He can transform it. But we've got to renew our minds. We've got to say, "What's your design, God? I've learned this way." And it's not good. We all have brought things to the table that's maybe from our backgrounds. And I'll just say for my wife and I, one thing that was transformative in our lives was we just took the three main passages of u marriage. Ephesians 5, 1 Peter 3, and Colossians 3. And I read the verse to her about my responsibility as a husband. She read about her the wife. And we pray those things into our lives every day for 30 days. And I blessed her and she blessed me. And God through the power of his word began to change our mindsets of what marriage should look like. And it was transformative. God, we our marriage was never the same. So we bring so many preconceived ideas of what expectations all those things and baggage and we have to say God I need a blank slate and I need a new writing on my mind what you want and that's he does that. I wanted you to be able to share a word of encouragement to the men that are out there or even women that are out there that have made the mistake. they're in that marriage and they're struggling and they don't think that God could use them anymore because of this mistake. [clears throat] And I think that's one of the big lies is that we make the mistakes and then we believe to ourselves whether you're in any form of addiction that God could still want to use me, ? did you ever feel after 19 that God still wanted to use you or what would you speak to the individual that's maybe struggling or wrestling with that? It's yeah, he'll set me free. But then what? First, just I know that this is all over testimony. Find your identity and not what you do, but who you are in Christ. A lot of times we find our identity in what someone has told about us or something. But really just resting in the knowledge that I belong to the Lord. And my first priority is just to know him and to draw near to him. And [clears throat] so I would just say find the freedom in that to those who might be listening or watching. that's that's freedom because I don't have to find it in what anybody says about me. But just in the knowledge of the great is my greatest joy to be alone with the Lord and the truth of Matthew 66. that when you pray, go into your prayer closet and [clears throat] your father sees you in secret will reward you openly. And I believe that's the center of a target that just spreads out from that place that everything in our lives comes into alignment. There's no substitute for the presence of God. So, if I'm encountering the Lord on the day-to-day basis, I want to encourage everyone, the first people that will be impacted is my family. If I'm not encountering the Lord, then my family, I can't give what I'm not receiving. And so, it just pours out from that quiet time. And the disciples got it cuz they were they didn't ask Jesus, "Teach us to multiply bread, teach us to cast out devils, teach us to do ministry." They said, "Teach us how to pray." pray." pray." They understood that everything Jesus did was connected to his alone time with the father. They saw him go off alone. They kept seeing him going off alone and [clears throat] and he would come back with revelation. He come back. We have to go to another village now. Wait a minute. There's a whole crowd here. This is a good time to set up a church, . [snorts] But no, we have to go some that was because he said in John 5, the son can do nothing of himself. Whatever he sees the father do, the son does likewise. And the [snorts] father will show greater works than these that you may marvel. So there's this like what you said, brother, abiding that place of I'm I'm I'm drawing close to the Lord. And from that flows all this other life pursuit of Christ. Christ. Christ. As we wrap up, man, just maybe take a moment and do you and your wife have a podcast. Yeah. So, we're on YouTube, Waiting Kate, and we've done a podcast, Walking in Biblical Manhood. It's on u iTunes, Spotify as well. And then my wife and I are doing right now called miracle stories because we just wanted to give people encouragement that God still does miracles. And so, we got to we've been testifying. We I think we're on 16 now of some really supernatural things that we were so humbled to be able to witness God do that are defy natural explanation and and I also [snorts] have a website called the Elijah generation.com. It's just to some tools out there hope that will encourage brothers to be able to, just continue to press on and press forward and to to be ready to see our great king face to face. So that's awesome. Yeah. Yeah. It's those things we're just see trying to encourage just as we've been encouraged and and we just believe with the reality that our lives are a vapor. So let's let's encourage each other until that final day when we stand before the almighty and be ready to give a good account. account. account. It's so good man. Thank you so much for sharing. Wait, this has been such a blessing. viewers, I hope that you guys enjoyed listening to this podcast today on rebuilding life after addiction. if you can and this episode has impacted you, please hit the like button, subscribe if you haven't subscribed already, hit the notifications to get updates on all the other podcasts that we'll be putting out there. leave a comment below. Let us know what you're struggling with, how we can be praying for you. we'd love to hear from you and interact with you. Thank you and I hope you guys have a blessed day. Peace. Hey, thanks so much for checking out this clip of rebuilding life after addiction. If you enjoyed this clip, you can watch another one by clicking here.