From Chaos to Clarity: Daniel's Journey of Recovery and Growth

hey I just wanted to take a moment and welcome everybody to another episode of rebuilding life after addiction here with Rob Grant and Daniel and we are excited about another conversation and man it is like negative -10 degree windchill right now in Virginia and Rob is grinning because he's in California like you got a hoodie on but I don't even think you need to be wearing it's almost like just comfy it's like passive aggressively bragging to me that it's warm out there hold on let me do y'all a favor and just make y'all just step into my world for a moment the weather I'm going to be annoyed when I see this yeah 100% Oh see it's not this 58 degrees guys it's not that bad yeah hey it's negative five and Ice Man all over the road but I'm excited about another conversation man Rob how you doing bro dude it's it's been a very long week just came off of a nasty sickness it's been going around everywhere but other than that man I'm I'm well dude all my life couldn't be any better right I'm alive and that's that's what I'm grateful for grateful to be on another podcast and this is a old friend man that I went through team tals with which is pretty interesting because like our stories we were two separate people but what intrigued me to like even invite him on the show was one of his recent posts that I saw maybe a couple months back but it was just to see the transformation because I knew him at Teen Challenge and I could vouch and say that the very thing that he posted was so genuine and raw and authentic and I was just like man I gotta have that on the show because people struggle and I think something that's really interesting to me is that when people struggle in life they're they tend to hide it right and they're like man like how do I do this or I've relapsed man like what are people going to think of me man but Daniel no like he be proud to say man I messed up and guess what I found that being sober is actually a lot better than what I thought it was going to be and so it's just cool to see the transformation in you dude and what you're doing and so I'm I'm excited for you to be able to share your story and just really let people understand the importance of what it is to be plugged in with certain groups and communities and how you essentially have bounced back from some shame that relapse could often cause and how rewarding it is now be able to be on the other side and giving other people hope okay yeah I can do that I'm happy to be here so nice to meet you Dan Daniel what part of the country are you from I am from Tennessee that's where I'm currently at now and it is not nearly as cold as Virginia but we're still pretty cold here so yeah we go down there to Seaville Gatlinburg all the time I saw a meme on Facebook the other day it said seille and Gatlinburg is Vegas for Baptist I saw that I that to I shared it with somebody else there that's accurate yeah we love going down there well nice to meet you man I'm excited to hear a little bit about your journey as well thanks for coming on yeah thanks for having me guys for real yeah so I guess one of the things that I'd like to just I guess introduce yourself Daniel like give us a little background man on like where you've been like and where got is taking you now yeah so I'll try to make it as succinct as possible because obviously especially when dealing with addiction there's a lot of other avenues and stories that can be plugged in but I'm I'm from Tennessee lived here all my life with the exception of when I was in Florida with Robert at Team Florida with Robert at Teen Challenge grew up and what would you what would be considered a pretty typical Family household we went to church a lot I was in a private school Christian School a lot and just picked up some bad habits being around some people that not even that I didn't need to be around just that I wished I was a part of that specific group and so that's where the where using started but after that I went through the sober Journey getting in trouble with the law a handful of times going in and out of treatment centers hospitals and everything that comes with addiction a lot of times but now actually I just celebrated six years in January 10th I believe yeah January 10th and I'm working currently in the field I'm working at a treatment facility now like a rehab it's got a residential component to it but we have our own transition IAL living houses and so a lot of times we can offer the guys that if there's no room there we try to refer them out into the community to other places like that IOP programs that stuff nice that's awesome so six years ago what was the big switch for you right because you said you were in and out of things and like what was that big aha moment for you man right CU you grew up in a normal home right it's like parents go to church with you go to a good Christian school and for many people that's like the ideal life right A lot of people love to be in your Sho and so like you went astray but yet I love that scripture where it says train a child in the way that it should go and it will never depart from it right it's like man I could only imagine if you can maybe even speak into it like how do your parents like what was your parents perspective on like your life and what she were going through during that time right so I would break up my story into like two halves I guess started drinking pretty heavily towards the end of college and a lot of stuff happened and I got a DUI my second one at the end of college and that's where I wound up in Florida I've been to a treatment center and then I moved to a halfway house and I got kicked out of the halfway house and I wound up at Teen Challenge and Florida stayed there for about 6 months after graduation and I moved back here to Tennessee to go to school here in Jackson Tennessee Union University actually and I don't even really know I tell people like that first time I got sober it was less about addressing the problems that led to my use and more about just don't drink or just don't use and that does work for a while it kept me sober for a while but it that there's no Foundation there if your foundation is to use as soon as you use it's gone and that's what happened is I chose one night to just now there's a lot of mental stuff that leads up to a relapse but I chose one night to just go out and drink and I just I didn't stop until I got in trouble again I got another DUI and all through it my parents had been supportive they really had been and but there was a time too where like as loving as they are and as loving as they had been they lovingly stepped back and at one point it was like you're on your own man yeah I don't know what to tell you and that last time I was in jail and I remember thinking that switch it wasn't even a big aha moment I didn't get struck down with lightning or anything I went like oh but it's just this final shift is like I can't keep living like this something's got to change and I've I've blown as many opportunities as I've been given so I'll just let whatever happens here while I'm in jail and thankfully some stuff worked out and I got into another treatment center Another Teen Challenge here in Tennessee actually but yeah that was it I just was like I can't do it anymore this is not yeah I'm at the end of my Roe and thankfully once I made that decision too from a distance they loved and cared for me and did the best they could and also they learned how to separate themselves while also supporting me which I think ended up giving us a healthier relationship later now that I'm now that i' had time it's us learning how to navigate that early stages of sobriety so yeah what was your view of God during that process right after working through this I me you grew up right Christian home and whatnot and so when you went out and started to use life started to unravel a little bit how did you see God through that entire process as you were struggling and walking through that battle when I was younger and going through it I didn't really care honestly as much as I would love to say that I ran right to him I didn't and it church was really just more of a thing to me like I got it just was something that happened on Sunday and Wednesday and I would say that I believe there was a God but I didn't really care it wasn't until I remember it pretty clearly too I was in a hospital in Florida I'd hurt myself pretty bad and I sat down with a sheet of paper and my parents were like you're I've been kicked out of the halfway house my parents were saying you're not coming here and I didn't have any of my friends number so it wasn't like I could call them this was when I was in Florida and I'm not from Florida none of my friends live in Florida I sat down and I wrote what I think I consider to be my first honest prayer and I wrote I don't really know what to say God I don't know what to do I'm I'm pretty scared but I know that these decisions are mine and I'm why I'm in this position all I ask is that moving forward like I'm sorry for what happened if I end up homeless which at that time if I'd have been discharged I'd have just been on the street that you just keep me safe and I'm sorry and I didn't really take hold of it I know people listen oh why didn't you just listen to him then well I'm still not out of that mindset but like stuff started happening and that's when my dad actually did call back and he offered me the spot in Teen Challenge and I went there and my relationship grew but again it was less about like dealing with those things that led me to drink and more about like God I had a close relationship but the sobriety and addiction and use was like a different issue to me I never I merge them together and so finally I think I realized the what it had like I just when I broke down in jail it was like God was there I could feel it that time and it was really just that sense of like I got to stop this was for the better as miserable as I am this was better than the alternative which was death at that point really right and then things again started happening once I've surrendered and I know that it doesn't always happen immediately like that but for me it was like I was just like God help me again I know I've run out of chances probably but like just in case I haven't can you do this for me again and then like stuff started happen I got another treatment center made some good friends there that I'm still in contact with regrew that relationship with the Lord and here we are it's like that battle Jacob went through right he how many times did it take for him to go through that conflict with laan and all the other stuff that he went through stealing his brother's soup stealing his brother's Birthright for a thing of soup and that God working that deceiver out of him and it wasn't like overnight it wasn't until the Mountaintop and even then it was a wrestling match and like I think a lot of times we Rob and I have unpacked this a little bit there are people that have these like transformational clouds open up light shines down from heaven get they get knocked off the horse if you will like saw moments but then there are others that we just walk through this proverbial wrestling match like giving up our control and I think me I think that's that's okay too right God has a way of drawing us back to him and these these Transformations it's not always going to be as easy as old creation New Creation right there's like a that takes place and between the before and after pictures that we see on the internet there's a whole lot of pain in between those two places and it's dealing with those places of pain Rob looks like you had a question so yeah well you we had a we have a really good brother in Christ and we could all lift him up in prayer his name is Ace and he was recently on one of our casts last week actually but you were talking about like some of the mental things that were ignored and just pushed to the side and that's what cost a lot of your drinking and stuff like that and so when you really didn't build that foundation and you never really had the opportunity to address those things so this next come around you're in a treatment center like what did that look like for you addressing some of those things those rooted issues even sometimes even mental things like issues whatever it may have been like how did you process that man like because like we're so quick to be like just pray about it like there was just a counselor that I had and Team a counselor that I had and Teen Challenge he was always just like pray about it pray just pray about it Russell you probably remember Russell man and I remember Russell well yeah Russell passed away but there was a lot of Truth to what he would say but then at the same time there were some things man it's like man I just need a friend to talk to and flesh out some of these things that I don't really know how to process on my own and so like H how are you able to face that giant per se and say what Now's the Time that I'm going to face the very thing that I've been reluctant to actually address all these years yeah that's a good question and I even still to this day I'm having to readdress where I'm at and look at what's going on and address my focus and you're right I think a lot of times and I used it as an excuse a lot of times to be angry but a lot of times you hear when you go to somebody who's a Believer or a Christian who means well and they're like well have you prayed about it like yeah can you do it some more do you think you've done it hard enough thing and it's like I don't know how much harder or how much louder I have to yell for somebody to hear me and for a while that was really frustrating and really confusing it wasn't really until I was out of treatment the last time and I've got a background like in Psychology and stuff like that but it wasn't really until the last time where I was like you really do need some people need it in different degrees but you need that spiritual Foundation of like yes I used but because I'm fallen and it's because I do a lot of like it's not that type of sin is a lot more visible but it's not much different than anybody else's it's this a lot of the same stuff goes into it so it's it's taking that spiritual aspect and for me it was merging it with real mental health therapy some medication plugging myself into places that I probably didn't want to I even talked to my therapist about this I didn't want to go to places like AA I didn't want to go to places like Celebrate Recovery or anything like that in the beginning because I guess in my mind it was I could say I had a problem but deep down here I don't know that I was really ready to admit that it was a problem and finally breaking down and going to those places was like the admission the final wall I was like yeah this is a place for me and it took a lot of honestly talking with somebody and allowing myself to be poured back into as well I think that was another big one because it was easy for me to think I'd had all the Christian stuff I could handle like now I just need this well again it takes really I think a merger of all that together and to different degrees for people and so it was seeking out that help and actively learning about myself and what I needed in addition to a church family in addition to trying to keep that daily quiet time stuff going in addition to reading books by people with much more knowledge and life experience than me and so that's how I ended up addressing it and I know a lot of people that did it differently but that's what ended up working for me and that's what's been working and so that's what I'm going to keep doing yeah well it's so funny that you brought that up though man because like drinking in theory it's like it's it's socially acceptable right in our culture today so it's like this isn't a problem like when you go out you want to go to a party you drink you're at a you're at this event you have a drink it's like everything you do and people are like man I can't get loose or I can't be mean unless I have a drink or it's like this needs to be done and so it's like okay if I'm obliv like just gone that's not a problem like I just had a good time that night and so it's I like that you brought that up man because for me right obviously I my choice of drugs were hard drugs and so like you don't just like walk down the street smoking a crack pipe or shooting dope up your arm like that's not like socially acceptable but I say all that to say man like the battle that you had to face because like even now it's like you're going out to certain places and you see it and so the Temptation that's there constantly that's pulling at you like how are you managing that right because like you just you mentioned earlier right like I never knew it could be this fun going to a concert and being sober right so enjoying good music people that you love now you're sober it's like but they might have these drink stands or you guys like you go to get gas and it's like you go to the the gas station yeah all this being there like was pregame it's like yeah we're gonna pregame with cius now rather than be like how do you like how do you manage that man like that's for me that'd be really hard yeah and it was really hard in the beginning I had to change everything like living a new life for like like living as a part of the Kingdom rather than as like actively against it forces you to change a lot of stuff andou right there at first so good and you and I had a choice too whether it was like do I make these changes and I can't say that I would have been like not a Christian anymore but like the reality is like I wanted a fulfilling I didn't want to just be sober like I was last time I wanted a life and so part of that was one being involved in like the church but also surrounding my myself with people that I knew would keep me accountable but also part of that too was being as honest as I possibly could about where I was at which was also really difficult another thing I would do and still do is whenever I feel like oh maybe this isn't that bad and I tend to over complicate things personally it's like in my mind it's yeah right I think a lot of people do but in my mind like not drinking for the rest of my life feels like a really big deal but and even in AA they'll say it too it's like 24 hours a day and it's like well if I can stay sober till the end of the day maybe I'll I'll readdress it then breaking my time up into little bitty bits like it well I'm not going to get gas or I'm not going to get beer when I go into this gas station and then even like congratulating yourself because those are big stuffs especially if you're used to doing that over and over again and then I think one of the biggest things was just asking myself at the end of the day as simply as possible is maybe I can have a drink again right maybe I can do all those things those people do but is it worth risking what I have right now to Simply have a beer is it worth risking going back to everything that I've been through like self harm trying to take my own life hospitals ruining family relationship ship friendships is it worth going back to the bar over and now it's easier to say no but that wasn't always the case but it's just continually reminding myself of where I came from what happened and what it's like now what was the mental work that it took to get through that to that place right where we're moving out of the I guess delusion is the best word I can think of right that it's okay for me to do this to being able to have that Clarity in mind to say that this isn't worth it like what did it take for you to get through that process I imagine there was some lot of work that went into that yeah there was a lot of time in prayer still I found also that it was better and more for me I guess when I heard prayer it was like these really big verbose theologically dense prayers and those are great I really I think there's a Time no place for those but really what it boiled down to for me was being honest with God like I'm ticked off right now that I can't do this like why can't I in just journaling it out being honest and real as possibly could and being honest with the friends around me as I possibly could and through that working through realizing that like mentally the Lord could provide me with everything I thought that I needed when I was drinking and I think that I was compartmentalizing like a spiritual person a mental person an emotional and so on and so forth and so it was this realization that the Lord could provide me with comfort from there too and it took a lot of wrestling as you put it too and something else I liked reading the story of like Moses when the Lord called him he still was like he saw burning bush and it was like okay make that staff turn into a snake Okay now do this and even still he had to ask but it was like every time I felt guilty about questioning God it was like I would go back to that and it was like Moses was God's chosen but he still provided every time he had a question and he still provided every time he doubted and even still even without there was a little chastising too sometimes but like he still provid Ed what Moses needed in every single situation even if it was to address doubts that he had about who God was still willing to do that and it was a lot of that was too was like God are you really who you say you are be able to do this can I really do this and the answers kept coming back yeah you can me and you can do it and everybody you've put around so yeah that's so good all right guys it's all right throat's a little choked up yeah I wanted to add something what I love that you said sorry you said something Daniel that was really impactful you said you didn't just get sober for yourself you got sober so that you can be purposeful and I think a lot of people tend to forget that they were created for a original design we have an original design an original blueprint to reproduce after our own kind right to multiply to increase the kingdom this is a kingdom that has lost many members yet if we are unwilling to deny ourselves of the things the pleasures that we once partook in to reach out after those that are don't have the same opportunities that we have right but to give them hope too right like it's like nothing was wasted you have to go through what you went through so that the story that you were able to share with others that you can relate to the people that you're working with even now it's like hey look man I know you probably been through this process a thousand times me too but guess what right I can show you how to walk through this thing now and that's the beauty bro like I love how the Lord purged you of every doubt unbelief and fear and just the oppressing thoughts of wanting to even consider using and you were able to write it down like journaling is such an impactful thing that many people don't do and it's like we think journaling is like a thing that only women should do like it's like oh like you Journal like well you're weird dude it's like no like releasing that everything that's in you that doesn't belong that's like a burden that's taken off of your shoulders right and so right yeah I just I don't know dude like I'm from knowing you to where you are now like I'm just I'm amazed man I'm so proud of you I appreciate that man yeah like six years can I ask you a question about your work currently and so you mentioned that you're working in some treatment facilities now and this is always something that intrigues me being in the TC discipleship space right and some of the differences and not necessarily criticisms or one another but just differences right from coming out of a very strong discipleship model to now where you're at on the other side working in is the treatment center you're working in now more clinical in nature how would you describe where you're at now and maybe some of those differences that us being from the TC Network right all three of us TC family I love to I just love to hear about that and hear about how other people are doing treatment yeah it's it's it's very clinical and it's very 12-step based so while I don't I make it pretty clear that like I feel and believe that like there's multiple ways for you to get clean and sober but the way that worked for me was this and I'm I'm fortunate enough to be in a place that allows that and so while the facility itself would be 12 set based clinical we'll do a lot of clinical work we refer out to mental health counseling we have in intensive outpatient programs very different from I guess the teen not all Teen Challenges but the Teen Challenges I was involved in yeah and so but again at the end of the day spirituality is still a very big aspect okay for both the Teen Challenge and some and a secular treatment facility there's still going to be that emphasis on spirituality all always that's almost the number one thing you have to recognize is after like if you're using like the steps like that's like the third one is admitting that like a power greater than and yourself could restore you and for me that it that is very much the case restored me to sanity in a very big way and I'm forever grateful for that yeah we started working with on recovery alive with on the TC Center that I'm working at currently and they John eckan the guy who wrote that book he's taking the 12 steps and it's probably similar to celebrate where just everything is infused with Jesus and I heard him break it down he said the 12 steps truly are just love God love others and then go serve he's like and he's like that's the simplest way to put it he's like it is just discipleship like it's 12 steps of discipleship and he i' never heard somebody put it so simply as long as I've been around the TC world and around we I've heard about the 12 steps and all that but having him put it that simply and US starting to implement that inside of our TC program and getting the guys engaged has been really helpful for for their process right and I think too like I think you mentioned something as well like it provides just some structure too whether you're using it in like a secular setting or not like let's say you're using it in Teen Challenge it just gives you like a road map aside from like when Robert and I experienced a lot of in some of our Teen Challenge days like they just pray about it was like you can pray about it but then there's steps to take after and there's things to explore that come with that and I think the 12 steps can be very helpful to integrate that Christ focused mentality into it can be very helpful integrating it all together yeah that's awesome man yeah how long have you been working there now at this particular place just about six months now I was I started in July before that I was working at a school and before that I was at just a strictly outpatient program like I was teaching intensive outpatient classes and I was a case manager for like a recovery Court yeah so now that you're doing this like what systems have you actually put in place like for yourself like accountability wise are you plugged into your church do you go to a small group outside of what does that look like for you now yeah a lot like that I'm recently switching churches so that's been that's actually been a really fun experience though too but I'm I'm looking to get more involved I'm looking actively looking for a small group outside of church but being involved with people in it and just asking them like where can I get involved what can I do staying in touch with some of those people outside of church again those people that I know will keep me accountable and stuck with me through all that stuff I'm very fortunate to have a lot of friends that prayed me through it and are still my friends to this day right and the journaling is a big one I try to exercise a lot it's it's about finding a system that really works for you as well and that's what being involved with my friends physically fit journaling and the spiritual family aspect of it is what helps keep me sober after spending a day of trying to help others in their sobriety yeah that's good such a holistic view man what so what have you learned through this process like Rob was talking about mentioning that man like there's this element of fun right in your life and outside of like the whole just being in the recovery World working in the recovery world right it's extremely draining like it can eat you up and wear you down that's just the life of the work man so how have you learned man you talked about that unwinding like how did you end up discovering the stuff that you brings you Joy yeah and finding those Hobbies very practically speaking because I quick story and I won't go into a long dissertation on this but I remember when I got home from Teen Challenge I married a woman who a girl who well we were getting married and she grew up and we weren't married yet man she grew up in the church she had never touched her drug in her life and I'll never forget the first time I sat down with the family dinner around her with her and all of her family members and they're all sharing all these stories and like these are all fun wholesome like good stories and I'm like well can I tell you about the time the house I was in got raided like and it was just like a very real issue coming out of a program like my entire life had been drug addiction and I'm sitting down having these wholesome conversations ations and like I had to earn those memories and those conversations like I had to put the work in get there right so like how did you end up finding some of those things man like on your journey that was yeah positive and lifegiving I yeah well it I think you bring up a really good point that not a lot of people realize either is that it's almost a form of institutionalization addiction is you come out of it and it's like that's all and so a lot of times your stories early on revolve around that was very alienating for me at first like a similar story was I've gotten some tattoos done and most of them I remember but then somebody would ask me about one it's like what I don't know where I got that one I woke up in jail one morning and I just had they were like okay put the wall away the party right but I think the first thing was I had to really embrace the concept of God's grace that was the first thing for me because that really at the core and I'm surprised I had mentioned it by now because I'll tell anybody this is really where it all started in Team really where it all started in Teen Challenge the second time was recognizing and realizing what God's grace really truly was that was total and immediate and complete release from guilt and shame and condemnation from before I made this decision to after it I'd never been or felt completely free until that very moment I didn't realize what Grace was I could tell well I could tell you the definition but I didn't believe it not deep down and it wasn't really until I realized that like his grace is and this came a lot of this and I can share it with y'all another time if you'd like but I the Holy Spirit told me to write something down and I wrote it and I wrote and I went back and read at it and was like you're free stop it and it wasn't really until I realized that like his grace was as much for the disciples as it was for the Roman soldiers that like I can't explain to you what happened in that moment again it wasn't just this huge sky opening but it was almost as though you could feel the weight fall off of me yeah and then it was like okay now let's let's do this is where it starts this is that freedom this is where I can do things and it was relearning a lot of hobbies that I'd set aside a big one was reading a big one was running a big one was music I love music I don't play any instruments but I really like music and so again aligning myself with people that were positive influences is finding things to do with them it really was just learning about how to do life and learning who I was in the Kingdom who I was without drugs and alcohol who I was after Grace that's what a boils down to and so I had to try a lot of stuff too some of it I didn't like like I tried painting I like it I didn't like it I was really bad at it and it made me frustrated so I didn't do it anymore but even still it was really constant prayer too like I was scared that life was going to be boring and it's not I can do everything and anything I did and then some sober that I was doing when I was drunk I have money I have more time I have more friends I remember stuff it's like looking back it's like why didn't I do any of this earlier yeah and so that's so good dude the hobby thing like I feel like it's like a life thing for me I feel like I have still yet to find the hobby I'm like what do I want to do like you have three kids so that takes up a lot of your time and you're married and all these different things but that's it's true right like what do you what are you willing to like open yourself up to just try different things and if you don't like it right like what was that for you yeah it seems easy but it probably was hard yeah it was and because I wasn't used to doing anything without drugs or alcohol and I wish I could tell you I did one two and three but it wasn't like that it was a lot of trial and error figuring out how to a lot my time because sometimes it would I'd spend too much time doing some one thing and it would exhaust me or then it would be like I wouldn't do one thing and I could feel those negative thoughts and feelings getting up and it was a lot of trial and error and now it's like I just do what I want as long as I know that it's going to be a safe environment and with the right people it's not as nearly as restrictive as I thought it was going to be at the beginning it's awesome yeah that's really good Justin no man I think man that it's been really good like yeah I I appreciate you sharing your story and just going through the details man of just being honest about that mental health component that layers in there that a lot of times I think in the church world we shy away from that it makes us uncomfortable and nervous and I did a mental health series at our church early this year like I'm you if you come to my you come to the altar with a broken arm I'm going to pray for your broken arm but then I'm going to send you to the doctor and tell you to go get a caspit on it and yet that's okay but sometimes when we can't pray away the mental health issues we think something's broken in our faith right and it's really that's not the case like we need to pursue and receive help for that and I really like the fact that the church is starting to discuss it more and well just can't pray harder it's like know sometimes you've you've got to go out and get some work done and get help that is it's so important yeah and that's that's how I would describe it to people when they ask me too because there's still I wouldn't say push back but there's still a lot that the church I feel like doesn't understand about mental health not because it doesn't want to but because it's never integrated that I guess into it's never taken that into account in a lot of ways but I like I say a lot similar to what you would say your brain is as much a part of your body as your arm or your leg or your knee and that means that there's just as it there's just as much potential if not more so in the brain because of how complex it is for things to go wrong yeah and it still needs a doctor as much as you would like the flu broken ankle broken leg so yeah I didn't go to therapy I went to therapy back in 2019 I went through Teen Challenge in 2005 and it actually wasn't until after working in Teen Challenge for 13 years that I realized where some of my identity had been wrapped up in my work rather than really figuring out who I was and sat down with a therapist after leaving TC from 2019 to about 2020 right before the pandemic so I got myself squared away before the world fell apart right yeah and so good timing but man it was just so helpful it was just one of those things like why did I wait so long to do this and yeah now now it's like they're there and it's like regular maintenance when I need to chat with somebody and work through that stuff man it is there and but I appreciate you Daniel so much Rob did you have anything else no I just just wanted to encourage people that are probably listening they've heard A's story now being able to hear Daniel's story like reach out from my perspective right just piggybacking on something that Dan Daniel said the church not really understanding a lot of times people don't understand because I've never had the same experience and so when you're not going through anything mentally you think that everybody should think the same way that you think and that's not always the case and I think we have to be very careful not to always impart that and upon other people but yeah like dude keep doing what you're doing Daniel like keep pouring into people I'd love to get you back on here man like long just a recap where you're at like what the Lord doing in your life and yeah man but thank you yeah thank you guys yeah man absolutely and if I could just throw one more thing out there Rob because ADHD and I have to say this now no but that part of like the church like I would just encourage church folks like no when you need to refer your pastor is not your therapist right like and I have said that from the pulpit so many times I here to give you spirit counsel but if you need therapy I am not going to step in and be your therapist I'm going to refer you to a therapist because it's a stewardship issue at that point over the people that were called to leave and that's one of the biggest struggles I think at TC like I think where I've had on the intake calls in the past early on I just wanted to reach everybody but the program that I operate as a small Center we do six months it's discipleship driven and ain't for everybody right and that's okay right there are other places out there for those people to get help that may not be a fit in our location and so I would just encourage some of those that are maybe listening to this ministry friends you're in the recovery field your Referral List is your best friend know when to refer and know when you're able to help and you're out of your wheelhouse and that's okay because this community all works together to ensure that people get the help they need and that's really what it boils down to it's a about helping people doesn't matter who does it we just want to see people get well right yeah so good that was my closing rant God bless you guys that was a good one