Matt Cross: From 12-Year-Old Addict to School Board Chairman

all these thoughts are like God I've done all these things and yet I find myself back at this place again I was I didn't know how those kids were going to turn out so I never judged the kids like by their appearance the family they came from or anything like that because God had done that in my life like he brought me from the gutters and what enabled me to live a good life I want them to know that it doesn't matter what they were born into it doesn't matter what they've gone through it doesn't matter how far they've sinned or what's happened to them whether they grew up rich or poor whether they have an education or not that if God calls you to do something he'll give you the ability to do it well man welcome to another episode of rebuilding life after addiction thank you guys again so much for tuning in my name is Justin frage excited to have you here today again if you're new here please hit the like button subscribe to the channel as we continue to provide inspiring content and inspiring stories to help you ReDiscover your purpose and find man find a life after addiction because that's really what it's all about and I'm excited about having my guest today on pastor Matt cross Matt how are you man doing good brother thanks for having me on today yeah man I appreciate it sorry checking the audio real quick I had too many instances where everything crashed after recording didn't realize it until after talking for 45 minutes but man I'm excited to connect and sit down and chat with you here brother it's it's exciting we're here at the path church and man so you've had a journey right you've yeah you're associate pastor here at the church you've worked as a CEO in the jails you've been a sheriff y you ran for school board got attacked and called all sorts of names I don't know if that's still happening or not but yeah I'm still a bigot and racist I hate when that happens but before all of that like I've known you for a while and I remember hearing some of your testimony pieces of it throughout the year and how the Lord got a hold of your life like you had some addiction struggles in your life and absolutely man I'd love to just hear you take us back to the beginning like how did Matt end up drug addict dealing with this type of stuff before all of the cool stuff that you've got to do since yeah thanks for that I was just thinking here recently Justin how I'm I can remember being like maybe 10 11 years old U my parents were going through a divorce and I remember driving down I can I almost point you out on the Interstate 81 where we were driving we my family had moved from Stewart straft and made the journey up here to Rockingham County where my dad was working in the hospital he used to fix the CT scanners that you go in if you get a c CT scan and I can just remember just thinking to myself man I really want to grow up and be someone that helps others and I didn't know at 10 11 years old what that meant but I knew that there was a passion inside of me that I just wanted to help people yeah and I'm so that it's just funny how I think about that going back and seeing where God's brought my life and where the enemy tried to take me at a young age and through addiction and I and to see what God has done through my life just by being not only faithful because sometimes not faithful but he's still faithful right yeah for sure and so it's nothing that I've done I've earned any of this it's been the grace of God that has helped me along the way and it's kept me along the way and so I was I started doing drugs when I was like 12 years old and I can remember that was the first time where I started smoking weed when I was 12 and I'm it just it led down from smoking cigarettes to and getting drunk to getting high to the time when I graduated high school me and my buddies were going to up to Baltimore to buy cocaine and that's at the end of my me graduating high school was I was already burned out some kids they graduate they go off to college they get their party and Stage out of them man I was Full Throttle from like sixth grade on and so when I came to Faith and 1998 as a senior in high school like I just I was searching for God and yeah a lot of things happened leading up to that but I'm I started when I was 12 so everybody talks about like addiction right and addiction is not really the root but it's the fruit right there's something going on the inside and so 12 years old 13 years old starting to experience like was it like a response to maybe any particular event I know you mentioned your parents got divorced and whatnot or was it modeled for you influences in your life like what what makes a 12-year-old start using drugs right yeah I think mine was like out of curiosity at first like first of all like I was raised with this for the most part when I was sixth grade my mom and dad got divorced my mom stayed in Maine my I came me and my three brothers with my dad back to Virginia and had a lot of free time on my hand right and so I was just hanging out kicking it with my friends in high school and just that was the part where I was that's where I think I didn't have that structure and I had that freedom to go and the drugs I think led into more like a just more a lot of fear working in my mind and things like that yeah to where I think that fear inside my life was being masked by the addiction as well like getting high to just fit in to also to mass some of the pain that also that I've went through just a child of grown up and your parents going through a divorce and the things you hear the things you see and then add added to that having all that free time with no structure in my life like I looked at my kids now like me being a dad and I'm still don't have it all together right but I looked at my kids and like man you've got it so much better than what I had they don't believe that though do they no they don't believe it all they don't even know but I've taken my kids on missions trips out of the country my dad couldn't afford that when I was a kid right and so my kids at 13 14 years old they've been able to experience third world countries yeah and man I lived in poverty though right like my dad was struggling to pay the bills he was he would umpire baseball games to just to feed us at night time some nights and so we grew up with struggling so I think there a lot of admiration there for your dad I'm sure yeah man love that guy yeah good guy and my mom and dad are some of the best people they went through they struggled a lot my mom I grew up as a as an orphan and I was brought in and she had a hard life growing up and so I have a lot of respect for my mom but that's uncommon too though you think it about hearing the story like you don't hear all three kids growing with Dad too often yeah right and so for your dad to fight through that that's it's incredible yeah it was four of us it was four of us that decided to go back with Dad we had moved to Maine and I dad said where yall want to head to and let's we said let's go back to Rockingham and I it was all about sports at the time for us cuz we were playing baseball and basketball and but man that was about 12 years old when I started u doing drugs and it just led me down just a it led me down a bad path yeah so let's fast forward then so you said you mentioned earlier that by the time you hadit 1819 like you're just done you just burnt yourself out like right A lot of people do run that race for years and never get free was there a turning point anywhere in there that you got to this point after that's a six-year period right and starting at 12 it's significant that's that's a formative years of our lives and influenced by different substances and whatnot so what was the turning point that started to shift your life well the Turning Point man was one evening it was dark time I was riding my bicycle down the road to my older brother's house he lived down the road in an apartment and I Heard a Voice which I believe was just a voice of Satan the voice of the enemy say I got you now and when I heard that like that fear like just was like it struck me it struck me like to my core and it really led me like on I didn't know what it was at the time but I' experienced my first panic attack in my and that I knew what it was like a pan I didn't know what it was till later on in Life or I had another panic attack later on in my early 30s and that panic attack led me just into like anxiety a lot of fear a lot of worry things like that and that was my turning point like I began to seek God at that time I remember my dad would took a to a Christian church when I was younger and I started reading the Bible and it was King James Bible and but my dad had a lot of these verses highlighted in the Bible yeah and I didn't understand it when I read it like my favorite verse when I came to Faith was Matthew 11:28-30 it's the verse where Christ says come unto me all you who labor and are heavy laden and I'll will give you rest take up my yoke learn of me for my yoke is easy and my burden is light you shall find rest for your soul and when I heard that word yoke Justin like the only yoke I knew was egg yoke I wasn't a country boy right I grew up in a rural Virginia but I wasn't a country boy and so I'm like the Bible like was foreign to me Jesus smack me in the face of an EG like what do you mean Yol like I didn't understand it but I one thing I understood was that when I read the word there was peace that followed and so even though I'm sitting down reading this book that I don't understand it's given me peace as I read it and so I started going to this church this guy had brought had asked my dad to come to and it was an old time Pentecostal Holiness Church that they brought me to and that's where I heard for the first time an old lady speaking in tongues and like my dad was a good Baptist guy right so can you set the stage a second for Pentecostal Holiness right for the audience who may not understand or have the okay the what does that mean right Pentecost so what set the scene in a typical Sunday morning Pentecostal Holiness Church for those so I walk into the church bag of jeans I would I I look like Bob Marley I tell people all the time and my I washed my hair but I didn't wash it too well and so I had knots in the back of my hair and I was just like a hippie kid growing up and so I walk into this church and the pastor that Sunday night or Wednesday night I forget which one it was he preached on men having long hair well I'm the only man in there sitting or young guy sitting there with long hair do you think he changed the message when he saw you walk in yeah I think he was inspired as soon as he saw me and so like that women wear real long dresses no makeup hair usually up in the bun all the men suit and ties nothing wrong with that what but it was just here I am coming off the StreetWise not like gangster street but just like I'm coming out Addiction coming out of like I told you 12 years old I just started going hard and I walk into that church and I can remember they had a brick background in the church and I remember like seeing a vision of Jesus's face and he was smiling at me and I thought to myself I was like God how could you be smiling at me yeah in this moment of anxiety and in fear and stuff I'm going through but I could remember see the face of Jesus smiling at me at that time and I went forward to the altar one night and man I was like I was no one came and laid hands on me no one came did anything it was just me at the altar saying God if you can use me and that's where my journey began as a 12th grader in high school I can remember not long after that Justin that I I was walking down the hallway and this assistant administrator was there who never had one conversation with me didn't didn't know me but I looked rough I long hair bag of jeans I was just I'm sure they knew like I was the kid using drugs and drinking and things like that and he came up to me and he said I've seen kids like you and I know how they turn out and that's the only thing he said to me and I was like well I knew he wasn't telling me like I'm going to Harvard I'm going to some iy lick school things are going to be great he was telling me I've seen kids like you and they end up in jail in prison in the grave and I only thing I knew to say is I looked at him I said okay and I walked away but one thing he didn't know at that time was that I had given my life to Christ and even though I looked the same on the outside there was something happening on the inside yeah that's so good that was taking root inside my life and I'm so when I walked back into that school a decade later as a school resource officer yeah wow that's why I say God's got a sense of humor right yeah I was the last person to succeed out of my class I'm sure and I was the last person that anyone ever believed would ever go into law enforcement right and the sheriff of Rockingham looked at me and said I see your background what you've shared your drugs and things like that but he said I truly believe you're a changed man and he said I'm going to give you an opportunity and that's why he started me out in the jail and I just went from there and I'm on for a 12year journey in a law enforcement career so how did that process play out like going from being in the school having those negative words but you're never going to make it you're failure and I think like a lot of people feel that right I think some of the questions that are being asked by those trying to get out like man can I am I irredeemable right and so you're talking about already dealing with the anxiety and all those internal struggles yeah and then somebody that's supposed to be speaking life into your future right confirms right all the anxiety that you're feeling already you got the world against you already you got some difficult situations at home fighting through these addiction battles and so you said Jesus was doing something on the inside of you right but how did that how did that begin to materialize right there a lot of question about how do I find God's will yeah how do I find the purpose of God for my life and like I'm assuming resource officer was nowhere on the list no yeah so how did you get from yeah in that hallway having those negative words spoken to you to 10 years later coming back and I'm here as a school resource officer like that's it's wild right yeah it's it's it's funny but I what I did I threw myself at God I threw myself at God I was sitting I could take it to the porch I was sitting on in mville that my dad rented this house from and I grew up in my freshman year through my senior year till I moved out of the house and I'm I was reading the Bible and I'm like God I'm I'm I'm hearing and seeing what Jesus can do in someone's life he heals the sick he raises the dead he cast out demons he gives us a new life when we come to Christ and I remember sitting there on that patio and saying God if you're alive then I want to know you that are the same person today than what you are when I read this book yeah wow and when I said that it's it's the same actually prayer that Paul prays in Philippians when he says oh that I may know you and in the power of your Resurrection yeah Paul's this Eternal thing is crying out saying oh God that I may know you that's what I was saying God I want to know that you're the same God in the Bible that I read about for sure and then I want to know that you still have power to heal the sick cast out demons and to do miracles in people's lives if you're that God I'll serve you and that's what I did I threw myself at God man like I' I've I found the church it happened to be here at path church and we were me and my buddy Bobby bergd doll who came along the journey close at the same time and we said hey we're going to church this weekend and we were driving down South Main Street in the Harrisonburg and we saw this sign that said come worship Jesus with us and we were like hey let's go there this Sunday and check it out right and so we went in we' already been to the Pentecost H in the church so we can't get much so we went to the the storefront old Steakhouse a church it's it's been torn down since but I get out of the car there's this beautiful blond hair lady with a short miniskirt on I look over at Bobby I'm like man we found the right Church yes okay amen here my car by Cardinal Self right but I walk inside this church and I see this picture of this girl on the wall and I remembered who she was and I'm I look in there and I see her dad and it was Dan Garber and I remember Dan from the baseball field and being a coach yeah in Elton and I man that was the first time like I felt the presence of God when Pastor Renee began to lead and worship yeah I tell a story that I just lost myself in worship and I was dancing you keep talking and I'm I'm I'm sitting there dancing and I with my eyes shut and about knock over the the drums and so it's just that was the first time I came into the presence of God so thick is when I started attending p church and I'm and I said God I want this like I want to know you so I what led me out of the addiction what led me out of the lies what led me out of the fear anxiety the panic attacks all these things was throwing myself at God and saying God if you're real and you can use anyone here I am yeah and that's literally Justin that's like what I did like I quit the job I was working at cores when I graduated making really good money my dad was like don't you quit that job benefits and everything yeah but it was working I was working 12- hour shifts I couldn't attend church but every other weekend and I was like no God like I need to be in the presence of God I need to be around the body of Christ and I knew I needed that in my life so I threw myself at God and was God that brought me out of that dark place yeah that's really good man and I think that Community piece is so vital oh it's huge like it is like I've tell people all the time it's the difference between success or failure like we use recovery terms and all of that and I use them a lot of times for dexterity because the community understands them right but like it is New Testament Church right like if like how do I break addiction like it's it's laid out in the book of Acts it's laid out in the New Testament like it's not complicated but it's difficult to do right and you got to really throw yourself at the purposes of God so I want to fast forward then to former drug addict working as a CE yeah and like cuz like yeah I know the Dynamics right that exists between people that have been in the drug addicted lifestyle and police officers and man I'll never forget I had I had come out of Teen Challenge and I've told this story a few times and it's it cracks me up even to this day I had a car full of Teen Challenge students driving through New Market and I get pulled over right and homeboy rolls up to the car and I'm respectful as all get out I'm still new in the faith so I'm still nervous around cops but he rolls up to the car and they don't do this anymore I think laws have changed but I smell marijuana and I'm like there's no way you don't smell anything and like it just cracked me up but I got a car full of TC Guys these guys have been clean maybe two days and so they're freaking out and he's like I got probable calls I want to search the vehicle can I search your vehicle I'm like what man have at it go ahead knock yourself out it is a good feeling so but it just cracks me up that Dynamic cuz I'm nervous they're nervous and so you bridge that Gap and then you end up on the other side of the authority yeah right and just it felt weird for a while God it wasn't like I came out of addiction came out of that and boom right into being a sheriff I think there was probably about probably almost a decade between that like I started I think I began in law enforcement when I was 27 so it was almost a decade I of me changing like I remember that first time I got pulled over after all coming out of addiction and coming out of being doing drugs and everything else like when I got pulled over like I was cool with the cop I like I saw the blue lights I didn't freak out like should I run or what should I do and so I that's a good feeling when you finally come out and like you get pulled over by a cop you're like hey man the worst thing can happen days just get a ticket that's right I didn't do so let me ask you about that relationship with authority though cuz it is tumultuous right for those in addiction right and how important would you say it is to get that mindset shifted for those struggling with addiction because I know even I know people even 10 15 20 years later they still struggle with that Dynamic with law enforcement and they have this like these trust issues and all that stuff and of course we live in a culture today that does make it easier we're being all the time so how important is that Dynamic for somebody yeah I Justin the one thing that stood out with me when I went into law enforcement was when I was sitting in the police academy and they asked they said what was the number one reason why you wanted to come in this get into this profession and 98% of the people is in that classroom said because they wanted to help people and I think for a majority police officers that's what they want to do they do want to help people but in every profession you have bad apples i' believe me even teachers some of them not good people right working in law enforcement I know but that doesn't put a bad like we know teachers are good right and so I think that law enforcement as a whole they want to help people and sometimes the best help that someone can get yet is to go to jail yeah because that gets them away from the addiction it helps them go get out of the place where they're at and maybe a fresh start for them maybe yeah but that's maybe you can look at people can begin to look at Law enforcement as they're there to help too I know some of them are arrogant they jerks things like that right we talked about a second ago but that's not all of them right there are a lot of there that do want to help and see you get free and not have to come arrest it took me a few years but after we pulled away from that car I told the guys I said you got to understand this dude he rolls up all you guys look like you're up to something all of us do and so like I yeah I told the guys that day I said we just taught a lesson like when you're doing right you ain't got nothing to worry about and it is what it is like I'm not going to make their life more difficult you mentioned that thread though of helping others yeah and because you mentioned that earlier on in the story yeah you heard God say that to you way back in the day yeah and and throughout your life that after getting free yeah that's been the drive quit my job all in on the kingdom Sheriff's Office helping others and then other Pursuits after that and has there been like relapses over the years and that type of pursuit would you say that it contributed toward it or what I'm saying like right no there I've had zero relapses of going back to drugs right like zero relapses even with alcohol of wanting to be drunk or being drunk zero I remember I woke up U one day in my own throw up from just a very bad party the night before and my brother wakes me up like around 11:00 next morning it's like Matt we got to get out of here and I got to throw up just dried to me and I was still in the process then like when I got saved like it wasn't like I got saved and then all a sudden boom I'm free from all the drugs and alcohol and fear and things like that it was a process that God took me through right and trusting him and walking with him and so I'm I haven't had relapses with any of the drugs or addiction I will say this like I said earlier I was in my 30s and I had a second panic attack and I don't know if people have experienced I know some people have experienced those panic attacks and man that sent me like back remembering of what I came out of back when I was 19 years old and it was four years Justin of going through like my faith everything seemed like it was being shaken at the time and I did a lot of research on this and a lot of studying but a lot of preachers old preachers would say that it was a dark season of the soul and I went through a season like that in 2016 and I'm a cop right and I'm I'm in this position to help others but and I'm a pastor I'm going on I mission trips I'm preaching in the pull pit I'm serving the lord but in internally man my faith was being shaken yeah and the fear the anxiety all that stuff was real and I can remember laying in my bed one night with my wife and she just was holding on to me and praying over me and we got a saying that Kim Clement used to say I see you in the future and you look a lot better than you do right now and I'm she just would prophesy that over me and I remember her saying like do you want to go to see a counselor or something like that and I'm telling her listen if I go to a counselor as a cop and I tell them the things I'm dealing with they're probably going to say I don't have a job right so here I am I'm a dad I'm a pastor I'm in law enforcement and I'm dealing with these things and I feel like God is nowhere to be found yeah wow and it was a dark season of the soul for me but God again brought me out of that dark place in my life yeah and showed me that his goodness is greater than any darkness that can ever come yeah and so no I never had to relapse back to drugs and I didn't even turn to drugs during that time right like I knew my only hope was Christ yeah and so I remember being out mowing the serving mowing the grass out here at the church and I'm just weeping and crying and remembering that verse in job it says although the Lord May slay me yet will I trust in him yeah and I said God I although this even if I die in this situation I felt like he had abandoned me they ever that old oh shoot it's an old song Christian song It says I sometimes I feel you closer than my skin and other times I don't feel you at all that's season I was going through I had felt God as close as my skin right like breathing on me yeah wow and then I felt like God where you at yeah and during that season of testing during that season of going through that in my life I'm it took a lot of prayer it took a lot of just seeking the Lord and it took a lot of me being honest with my wife with my pastor and just allowing them to help walk me through that time in my life yeah that's really good I asked about that and it's such a good story and so to get up to that point where a lot of turning back to our old vices yeah is chosen in moments like that right we want to escape the anxiety we want to escape the dark KN the pain that we're going through let me numb this so I'm not feeling it and like I'm curious on the buildup like cuz I think you said earlier that like it wasn't an instant moment at the altar right like I had I had some struggles early on like I was working Jesus was working this thing out of me yeah and I think a lot of people end up maybe in those moments and misinterpret that this thing's working what I'm saying and so what did those like put it like I guess the best way to call it work out I don't work out much everybody can tell that but like putting the Reps in right to be able to get to your thies yeah and not burn your entire life down around you right because you're feeling something that you felt at 18 because I can imagine mentally what's the point of all this yeah like I'm I'm in the ex the enemy would say I'm in the exact same spot I was when I came out of addiction yeah God's not real right you're you're in that same place this is a figment of your imagination all these thoughts like where's your God at now and can you really be saved can you really be helped can you really be delivered all these thoughts are like God I've done all these things and yet I find myself back at this place again and it was just God really bringing me through that saying listen I got you here even back and even in the midst of all that so I think one of the things that I look back to in that time I is trusting the Lord in that moment that I that he was going to get me out of that and because I had put in the Reps because I had put in the moments with God and knowing that like man you're faithful like I love I don't do this because I want to get paid or I don't do this because I'm trying to earn my salvation but like if you're still real you'll get me through this too and that dude that was tough that was tough but it there was a determination in me still in my 30s that said God didn't bring me this far to drop me now right and it's it's a it's the ex ofus story all over again in our lives and theologically speaking we all can look at the Exodus story yeah and find our place in that story right yeah and that's where I was at I was I God had brought me out into the desert and I thought he brought me out there to kill me right but he had a Promised Land if I would trust him yeah and so I had to face the Giants I had to face all those th those fears and anxieties and the lies of the enemy and say so what right what you got yeah so what so yeah that was my anchor throughout my throughout that time and not a lot of people I don't share that a lot I do from the pull pit and things like that but that was part of my testimony cuz I don't see my testimony just when God brought me out but like I'm still a Liv living testimony now yeah it's definitely the testimony is growing and so you mentioned your wife and Pastor denell being such a strong voice right during that season and so family right so you didn't you weren't married while an addict you didn't have kids while an addict you came out on the other side of that my kids had never known that part of my life they've never known you as that so but do they know the story Little Bits they know little bits because as a father I've not wanted to glamorize any of the stuff that I did right like especially when they're a young age like I'll I'll tell them more as they get older like I tell my oldest on some things now and he's like Dad you did what right but I never I remember hearing stories of my dad of him smoking weed and doing things and in some ways it glamorized that and to when I became a teenager I was like well I'm going to have my own story I'm going to try it myself yeah and although he wasn't trying to do that I just saw a pitfall there as a parent like hey I think every generation should be better right like I want my kids to be better than me and so I knew that was a pitfall like not to glamorize my past with them yes so I think about like ask you a question about parenting and all that for a second cuz I think about so my parents did the best they could right and as all of our parents do and of course they didn't know what they didn't know but when I was growing up we I had a desktop computer in my bedroom 56k internet yeah unfettered access to Napster and porn yeah and so my proclivity to fall into that addiction right when I was a teenager yeah now I'm hyper wear as a parent like with my kids phones and my oldest just got her phone like a year ago she's 14 15 we homeschool so we don't we told him like what do you need it for everybody going to call us in the house Who you calling but like but they know and like I'll grab the phone like I'm checking your device I'm holding you accountable and so my experience as a teenager falling into addiction has greatly impacted the way that I father I and so just be curious what maybe of your past and what you've been through has imped the way that you parent your kids today yeah I was s here thinking when you were saying that I'm a little bit older than you and the internet didn't get popular until like I was out of school like so 98 like I graduated 1998 so I'm dial up internet AOL all those messaging like that was all right when I graduated right and so I didn't have to deal with pornography in that sense like mine was I always tell people all the time like I had to be brave enough to go up to the 7-Eleven en counter with the old lady working behind it and has a smoker cough and ask her for the Hustler magazine behind the counter we need to bring that Shame back cuz like it would make it like it was right that's healthy yeah it was though like go look at it up on your phone like sitting in your bedroom like our kids now we talked about right and so mine so I had to like my wife's really good at that like she's she's the lock down queen of our kids phones like and even as a Christian parent raising kids we find ourselves that like even you can put all the stuff on it and do everything you do if you put your guard down the enemy is going to be there to make sure your kids getting caught up in that pornography and all kinds of stuff so it's so important for parents these days to have a lock down on all their devices and not just think well we're doing all we can do we're going to church we're we're they're good kids and they are good kids but temptation is Temptation yeah and so if you would have gave me as a teenage boy like access to just like the VHS pornography tapes I would have been watching them right and so it's the same way when we give them access with these telephones like they have access to all that so yeah my parents God bless them they didn't know nobody knew it was all brand new at that point and I was left up there with a lot of time and took about 4 and a half minutes to download a picture which killed the buzz of the whole thing you're sitting there waiting catching a little piece of at a time but like it is what it is that's it's funny yeah so transitioning from that man to parenting fathering and whatnot to like recent years yeah like deciding to take on the easy task of running for school board as a conservative like yeah why yeah you told me we were on a phone conversation a couple weeks ago you were like you must be a glutton for just a beating I you're a pastor then you wanted to jump into the political realm of school board and I did it I had thought about running for school board a couple of years before I actually did and safety had always been my like big concern and it still is like you see all these school shootings that are happening throughout the nation and I'm I got into law enforcement because I wanted to be a school resource officer I wanted to protect the kids I wanted to be that good example like what was good for the poor kid was good for the rich kid when I was a law enforcement officer I played hacky sack with the hippies and I talked with the jocks it was I didn't judge the rich or the poor it was they were going to be the same because I had been judged right I was I didn't know how those kids were going to turn out so I never judged the kids like by their appearance the family they came from or anything like that because God had done that in my life like he brought me from the gutters and what enabled me to live a good life and so I you never know as a teenager like where God's going to bring one of these kids right so anyway like I had this passion for public safety and I'm one of the school board members when I used to listen to Rush limbo all the time I don't know if you ever listen to him so rush limbal for like 20 years I listened to him and he make he made me laugh he made me cry there were so many things that I loved about rush limbal and when he passed away one of our school board members called him an evil piece of infection and when I heard him say that like it just went through me and I remember when Rush died I came home that night my wife was fixing supper she asked me to go outside and get some groceries out of the car I went out there and I'm thinking about rush and I'm I'm crying when I'm coming back in and I tell my wife I'm like is it weird for a grown man who never met another man to be crying over his death and I thought to myself I was like no I met rush like he made me laugh 3 hours a day he made me think and times I did cry when I listen to him and so when I heard that Schoolboard member say that I was like I'm going to a Schoolboard meeting and so that was my first like jumping right into it and then we had 2020 with all the masking and with all the stuff that we were seeing through CRT and people can say what they want to there are people out there wanting to push that agenda on to our kids and I just became very aware what was happening and I was like I got to do something yeah and that's what really thrusted me into this public life of wanting to be a Schoolboard member and it's not glamorous at all but it's been a calling that God called me to do and you you hear the threat to your whole story right yeah I want to help others yeah and that drive right and I think so often like I told somebody yesterday I was talking about this like I addiction regardless of what root is causing it becomes a very self Ser selfish behavior MH it's like I need to numb I got to I don't want to feel I'm going to get the next time there are so many ways that you can crack this thing and one of the things that i' I've always been fascinated by is how like well the antidote to selfishness is selflessness right they're opposites of one another right and I think that if people can get a hold of this you're hearing the thread like I'm I'm just I'm okay God I'm throwing myself all into your purposes and if that takes me to the jail takes me on the road writing traffic tickets I'm going to do that I'm associate pastor I'm going to do and now the school board which is like you better hear from God cuz it's not it's politics are so polarized now yeah like you a local Schoolboard race or being passionate about family values or wanting to call a man and a woman like it's controversial yeah and these are the things that we're like and we're in the middle of all this trying to raise our children too and it is interesting like I'm I'm serving and I'm trying to be that voice even the one story oh you're the guy that's never going to make it yeah I'm going to try to be that voice so no other kid has to hear that yeah and so what do you so if there's any one thing I know this is probably a loaded question but if there's any one thing that you hope to teach others like through your different leadership roles like is there a recurring theme recurring thread in that you really want if this is the message I want people to get from that cross yeah what is that I want people to know this one thing about me and that's 2 Corinthians 5:17 that if any man or woman be in Christ they're made a new creature yeah that the old things pass away and behold All Things become new that's what I want them to know that it doesn't matter what they were born into it doesn't matter what they've gone through it doesn't matter how far they've sinned or what's happened to them whether they grew up rich or poor whether they have an education or not that if God calls you to do something he'll give you the ability to do it yeah and that's really my me my message that I hope people see from me here I am sitting on a educational board I have an associate degree in biblical studies I didn't go off to college I don't have a bachelor degree or anything like that right but I'm the chairman of the board now of a place over 11,000 kids over 2,000 employees and we're I'm sitting here as the chairman on this board where I was looked to when I was a teenager from one of the administrators that said I've seen kids like you and I know how they turn out yeah and whether I don't put no judgment on that guy for saying that but he couldn't see what God saw in me yeah and that's really what I wanted want people to see is like you don't have no idea like what God wants to do in your life yeah and I if I when I look back to 19-year-old Matt cross if you would have told me that I would have became a police officer with a laugh number one if you would have told me I was would have been gotten married and been married now for going on 25 years I would have laughed right and if you told me I was I became a father of three I would have been like no way yeah like because the only thing I ever saw good in my life was destruction and that's really the what I saw before I met Christ and that's why I was like God if anyone can save me it has to be you and I don't want to be like these other Christians that I saw in my past that like were living a double life yeah that's why I threw myself at God and I was like God if I'm going to do this like I'm going to do it yeah so good and so that it was easy for me to like I say easy but it was easy for me to walk away from the meth the coke the alcohol like I and I was alcoholic man before I graduated I was alcoholic but I started smoking cigarettes when I was 12 and that was the hardest thing for me to quit was the tobacco and smoking and I remember being at church service on a Wednesday night and I remember Jesus walking me through like hey the cigarettes aren't going to take you to hell but you're going to smell like it before you get there or going to smell like hell as you walk on earth and then and so I remember like God I want to quit this i' I'd rinkle them up I throw him away I'd get them back out cu I couldn't afford another pack at a time and put them back to that's funny so I remember Wednesday night service I was at church and Pastor Dan said I think there I believe there are people here that want to quit smoking tonight God wants to set you free well that was me it was me another lady that came down and he laid his hands on me that night and prayed and that was I have not smoked a cigarette since that was it that's what it took me being in the presence of God giving God my yes yeah and saying God here I am i' I tried I failed and I just kept coming yeah and I kept pursuing him and eventually he took it from me yeah and so like there's tell people all the time like I smell cigarettes smoke once in a while and man it smells good sometimes right sometimes it smells awful but could imagine the buzz i' give smok a cigarette at this point in my life oh my gosh but I think about like God delivered me from that yeah so I'm not going to go back to it so man I'm 19 I'm I'm in the middle of an addiction I maybe don't have any positive voices speaking into my life feel stuck isolated nobody really understands what I'm going through or really cares about my future what do you say to me to help me get started yeah like what do you speak into that type of situation i' i' I'd speak it to your life and say you have no idea like the seed that God has inside your life and if you allow God to water that seed through his holy spirit if you'll surrender yourself to him like it's not going to be easy like I tell people all the time like walking with Christ it's it he calls us to be soldiers and so I'm not going to tell you it's going to be easy I'm not going to give little speech talk like is you going to be okay you're going to go through some rough times yeah you're going to have to make some hard decisions you're you're going to have to grow up and be the big boy or big girl now and say what I got to take care of me before I can help anyone else and so I've got to throw I would encourage like I said earlier throw yourself on God yeah like if you will throw yourself on God like I preached this past weekend on Jacob and Esau and that story where Jacob like he was his name means trickery right he could trick himself he could do he could talk himself out of different areas and into different situations he could talk himself out of those things but in the time when he's like man I need God he threw himself on God yeah and he wrestled with God the Bible says do and God's like hey let me go and he's like I'm not letting you go until you bless me yeah like if you'll do that if you'll throw yourself on God and be like God I'm not letting you go until you bless me yeah that's so good you have no idea the Heights and even depths that Christ will take you if you'll trust him yeah and so that would be my like speech to a 19yearold even to 20y old and 30y old be like bro like Now's the Time if you'll throw yourself on God yeah just the Bible says test me yeah and I think that a lot of times we won't we don't test him we don't have that cry like the Apostle Paul it says oh that I may know you got to hear like that groaning inside Paul like oh that I may know you and in the power of your Resurrection right and so if you that the rest of that verse is and that I may also suffer with you right yeah and so we can't leave out that part because when you serve the Lord truly he calls us to pick up the cross at all cost and if that means suffering with him that's what we do yeah and so I but the life of suffering that you'll serve with Christ will be a thousand times better than you being selfish and serving yourself yeah man I think I think the suffering that I went through as an addict prepared me yeah like cu did the meth thing and the detox and up and down needles All That Jazz that was my life story and that history man but like we've been through some hard times I've had some experiences similar to what you talk about the anxiety and panic attacks and all that but it's just like I've always been intentional about remembering how bad it was yeah back then yeah and yeah always it's always a frame of reference and so I think that like the people like you're already suffering yeah if you're trapped in this addiction like and so there's only upside yeah and it's man it's so good man I I appreciate you opening up and sharing and you're welcome just yeah as we wrap up so how can somebody either connect with you with path church I know you've got some VAR Social Media stuff out there and whatnot man but how can somebody connect with you yeah I easily if you friend me on Facebook Matt Cross or if you go to our church Facebook page at path Church Harrisonburg Virginia you'll be able to connect with us there Sunday mornings we're and we're here service at 10: a.m. and we also have a small gathering on Wednesday nights the Bible study it's really good man I sat there Justin last night and talked with a circle of 20 25 people of what we were thankful for and to hear so many people that I've served the Lord with over the last 24 years of my life talk about how like I'm thankful for this body like we're family and that's good and to hear that and to be a part of that I was like man it's really cool because if I wouldn't laid down my life and be a servant like I would have never had the opportunity to connect with other people that I never would have connect with before yeah I think that's what God uses the church to do is to connect you with people that you would have never ran with before like he gets you out of your own little clicks so true and he's like hey I'm you're going to serve this old lady you're going to serve over here in Central America where you don't even know their language and you're going be you're going to do all the you're going to S on a school board where you don't even have the education yeah Ian just all these things like God takes the foolish things of the world to confound the wise so good I've lived that and walked through it but anyway you could connect with me and on any of those levels Reach Out inbox me but i' I'd love to get to know you and be able to walk with Christ with you yeah amen so do they have any plans locally of allowing our homeschool kids to participate in sports yet or at least giving me my tax dollars back in the meantime oh man you're want to bury me right now with that question dis messing with you they already call me a disruptor they think that I want to come in and tear down the public education system but I am 100% for tax dollars following your kids right yeah so I think that's the best thing that we can do like you your choice with your kid on what you believe is their best educational path yeah that's where your tax dollar should be going that's a big conversation right now we'll see what happens the Department of Education even exists anymore okay I probably shouldn't have said that out loud but yeah man well I appreciate it and thanks man it's so good to sit down and chat and even we've known each other for a long time to hear pieces of your story that I I haven't heard before and it's it's awesome I appreciate you opening up and a lot of people I think run from their recovery Journey their backstory it's like and I understand the why behind it but like I think that man more people sharing like it just encourages folks to know they're not alone right in this journey and they like man there's life on the other side of this right yeah and that's been the drive I think that's true too and when we don't when we're as Christians when we don't allow ourselves to open up and show our vulnerability and even share a path that people only see like they only see the good things like they see the mat cross in the pull pit right they see the guy up there preaching with the anointing on him they see the pastor Justin that's preaching on Sunday morning that's strong and full of the word and everything else all over the place but yeah they what they see the glamour side of right they see the good side past Dan taught me how to chase squirrels and I've been chasing them ever since buddy so yeah but they see the good things in our life but they a lot of times if you don't open up and be like no I've got these scars man yeah this is who I am and even today like if I allow myself if I don't pursue after God man there's there's that flesh side of me that's that will get out of control yeah and I've got to continually to crucify that flesh and say God I want to now I'm at the point you now I'm I don't know I'm TW I'm I'm at least 25 2 26 27 years into serving the lord and now I'm on this halfway point of saying God now I want to finish it yeah like now like I want to intentionally serve you and seek you and be very intentional cuz I don't know how many days I have left right but I want to finish what you began and I don't want to fall I don't want to become a Castaway as Paul said like after I've done all these things after I've I've been through all this stuff like I don't want to be for nothing now I want to finish well yeah and so no I appreciate you Pastor for having me on and I've also so much appreciated you throughout the years and the work that you do with Teen Challenge and helping others man you have literally changed the lives of thousands of people and it's hard to tell how many people that they'll touch that they'll have impact on so I just encourage you and Ashley and the family to keep running hard after him and I appreciate you I have a lot of respect for you and the work that you do and I you're you're just getting started brother I really believe that you're getting this started we hear that I tell people all the time man like not man the only reason I'm here and where I'm at is cuz somebody told me a long time ago God had a plan for my life yeah and I've been foolish enough to believe it ever since and that's I love it that's really what it boils down to and man thank you guys for watching I'm going to drop the links for Pastor Matt's on contact the church everything in the description please you got any feedback any questions don't hesitate to drop a comment hit the like button subscribe all the fun YouTube stuff and thank you guys for tuning in to reboting life after addiction if you need help also Shan Valley Teen Challenge link is in the description you can click the button down there and fill a form out and we'll get back in touch with you and get you pointed in the right direction so you can get some help God bless you guys